7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Not being a comedian and being asked questions about being a comedian, when, in 1984 you sold more records than Kajagoogoo.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
You think I'm bleeding Russ Abbott by the sounds of it! Your opinion's null and void. I'm the Queen of the Estuary, the Duchess of Canvey. People do laugh when they come to my show, that's because they're nervous. But it don't make me a comedian, I'm just majestic.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I cant claim the big money I used to, having just been released from prison and all. I was the face of HP Sauce for a brief period, nowadays I couldn't get my face on a milk carton. That's gonna change though, babe. You watch.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
You don't need luck when you're the full package like me, babe.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I've been in prison for a while babe. I ain't got a clue who that is. I'm sure he's lovely. Is he off the telly?
12. Who is your favorite person ever and why - not including family or friends or other comedians?
12. Who is your favorite person ever and why - not including family or friends or other comedians?
Princess Anne, I saw her rugby tackle a Russian Oligarch once because he took one of her Vogues without asking.
Diane Chorley is at the Soho Theatre from June 15 - 27. Tickets here.
