6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

My teenage son Luke thinks it's cool so long as he doesn't have to picture me fucking. In his own words on my podcast he's totally cool with everything I say just so long as he doesn't have to picture my specific penis going into a specific vagina. We did a series of episodes together and we went pretty deep into it. I gotta admit the series where we race across the Australian outback in the middle of a heat wave, for me, are right up there with anything I've ever done. Ultimately I'd love to do radio with him as he's a very natural broadcaster and as he's grown up around comics has a sharper wit than most kids his age. So not only do I think he's cool with my job I think he hopes to join me on some level one day.

As for the rest, my dad's dead and my mum has come to a lot of shows. So I think she thinks I'm funny. My Dad used to say, "I'm not too fond of all the profanity" which was truly ironic because up until then "profanity" was possibly the only word I'd never heard him use.  

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

Everyone must say the driving right? Although when you're starting out and you're sharing cars that's the awesome part. When you're a mid-range guy getting yourself to arts centres etc... It's not so fun.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking
these questions). What do you think of you?

Really? I thought you were mostly ambivalent and ran hot and cold with me. Well that's very sweet. I'll be honest, I like what I'm doing right now. I was on possibly as good a form as I've ever have been over the last two years. So I'm probably owed a dip. As they say you'll never see a comic better than right just before he hits it big. Then the adulation kind of carries you a little bit. So I could either be on career defining form or at the edge of a bit of a drought, you never can tell.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

Ahhhh now I see why you led with flattery. Jesus, that was transparent. You do know comedians tend to be a tad more self aware than that right? Hey Bruce! Nice cock! You're awesome. Have you been working out?  Hey just quickly, which race of people would you say is your least favourite?

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had

lucky breaks?

I think it's safe to say I've blown every big break I've ever had... It's never sat well with me whenever anyone has tried to mould me into something I'm not. Now, I know what I want and I know what I can't do. I'm just one of those folks that absolutely positively has to build his own thing. It's just how I'm wired. Now to maintain that attitude and not be a total dick about it one also has to accept that show business will carry on just fine without you.

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories -

golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter

are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a

third category?

I think that's a funny bit and therefore probably doesn't require too much analysis. But I am one of those people that didn't just find I could do this. It's how I'm hard-wired and if it didn't exist I'd probably be in prison. So it's fair to say that comedy has given me a way out of self harming. I've also used it to self harm. So it's a yin and yang thing for me. Much like Bruce Dessau's favourite and least favourite race. We know Bruce's fave race is the Aryan one but who does Bruce like to yell at from the confines of a vehicle with all the windows closed? C'mon... 'fess up and I'll tell you what I earn in a year.

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why - not including family

or friends or other comedians?

After my wife and son it's a huge drop off.  To pick a non-friend or family member would probably be quite the slight on them wouldn't it? Please tell me no other comic fell for this and the "you're good at what you do/how much do you earn?" combo did they?

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why on earth not?

Ha! No. My drawers and car are a mess. But I do know where everything is. Tidying actually totally screws up my scrambled order of things. Now Bruce about this "ordered society" of yours. Where everything is put in it's "correct place". Tell me are there separate taps for blacks and whites?