Is stand-up comedy hoping to become an Olympic event? The first-ever UK Punday concluded with an event that at times felt closer to a sport than a gig. Albeit with its own on-the-hoof rules. The third UK Pun Championship was a knockout match featuring eight top gagsmiths going head-to-head in quarter finals, semis and eventually the final.
First up was reigning champion Leo Kearse “on Humanity” against Roger "propmeister" Swift, who for some inexplicable reason appeared to have apples hanging from his jacket. Maybe Swift’s outfit psyched out Kearse but this match created the first shock of the night and by an audience vote Kearse was eliminated*.
The second laugh-off pitched Kilkenny’s Colin “Chapstick” Chadwick against Richard “Toby Le Rone” Woolford. Among the subjects they had to make quips about was baking. Chadwick looked strong with a “Game of Scones” pun, but Woolford came back at him with a gag that was so brilliantly corny it was worthy of Nick Helm: “I know a baker who uses a gardening tool. He’s raking in the dough.” Game, set and match to Woolford.
Next up was the major controversy of the night. Richard Pulsford took on Masai Graham but compere Lee Nelson decided that they were so equally matched they both had to go through to the semis. This sort of thing never happens at Wimbledon.
The final quarter final was between Tony Cowards and Nigel “from Pundon” Lovell. Cowards is well-known for his puns on Twitter and was a finalist here last year so the form book clearly made him favourite, but Lovell certainly made a fight of it. In fact if this was judged on performance Lovell’s more relaxed style might have won over Coward’s nerdiness. But the wordplay won the day and Cowards went through.
And so to the five-man semis. In fact there should have been a woman involved but I was told finalist Harriet Collings had to withdraw, which sounds like it might be some kind of pun waiting for a punchline, but isn’t.
Richard Pulsford was up against Tony Cowards in the very tight first semi-final.The contestants don’t know the subjects they are being given so they need to have a lot in their mental rolodex or be quick-witted or both and Coward looked strong, suggesting, for instance, that the worst French wine was “Vin Diesel”. The audience vote was again too close to call, but Nelson could hardly put both through to the final. Pulsford went through but it was a knife-edge decision.
And then we had the first-ever three-way semi-final. Possibly a first in any sporting event in Leicester. Not surprisingly things were a little chaotic on the cramped stage as the triangle of competitors – Graham, Woolford and Swift – traded banter. Amid the anarchy Masai got enough laughs and enough applause to go through to the final.
Which meant that the final was a rematch of the first round meeting between “Puntaganet Richard IV” Pulsford and “General Punochet” Graham. This time though it was not quite as close. In fact from where I was sitting it looked as if Graham had won early on, but Nelson declared that it was a draw and a tie-break was needed. Cue the MC pulling a piece of paper with a new subject on it out of his tie.
And so it was down to gags about chocolate to decide on the champion. Pulsford delivered the only Bowie-related quip of the night, suggesting that the late pop star’s favourite chocolate was “Revel Revel”. But Graham was able to pull it out of the bag with “I recently completed my half-marathon. Or as I like to call it, my mini-Snickers.” Victory to Graham, who was given a crown and a robe and the chance to sit on a grand red chair as pictured above. Graham of Thrones.
*Since the gig Swift has explained that he was hoping the subject of computers would come up – he was wearing an "apple mackintosh"
