6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

As I say “some people” would say picking this job is the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. My family are a farming family so this world is very different. I’ve tried to explain to them the Edinburgh Fringe is like harvest but the allegory doesn’t really hold fast. Even when grain prices are low income still increases thanks to harvest time; not like at the Fringe! But it’s very humbling to call up my parents to tell them I’ve got great reviews and sold out shows to be told “that’s nice dear. The barley is nearly all in.” Keeps me grounded.

I don’t have children yet. I do have ‘show babies’ though…looking forward to giving birth to this new one this summer. Please bring gas and air and warm towels. Or the good drugs.

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

To be honest, I love most of the things about all this. Although when I tell people what I do I do get irked (and I try not to get irked, it’s such a tinny word) when people say “So you’re funny?! Tell us a joke!” I want to reply “What do you do? Oh you’re an accountant! Go on then – do my taxes!”

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Thank you for the compliment/encouragement. I’m still figuring out what I think of me. I’m growing and changing and this new show reflects that. I basically think this “Juliette Burton” character is redefining herself and may never stop. And she will hopefully never talk about herself in the third person ever again because it’s just too cringe-worthy.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

Not enough to convince my parents this is a legitimate life choice and enough to placate or satisfy or soothe my parents. I am aware that figure may be non-existent though; I think they like worrying about me.

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

Two questions in one! Nice. I always feel awkward answering questions like this because I don’t pretend to know “The Answer”. My instinct is that three things are more important than luck; perseverance (never give up), self-awareness (change what needs to be changed to move forward), talent (and honest development of that talent) and then after all that – yes, luck plays a part. But if you get the first three nailed then you’ll make the most of the opportunities that come your way. 

Lucky breaks? I feel lucky when someone I want to work with wants that too; so touring in Adelaide and New Zealand with the production team I’ve admired for years, my agent wanting to take a chance on me, that kind of thing. Less of a lucky break but more in the way people responded to it was that Beach Body Ready fiasco that happened last year which you wrote about after my Leicester Square Theatre show. Like I say – that wasn’t what I’d call a lucky break but I was thankful for how people responded and supported my stance on that. It was all rather weird!

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

Most people, my therapist included, would agree I’m a self-harmer… oh in just so very many ways! I talk about that in the new show… Plus I don’t understand golf so…as much as I cringe at the idea of “tortured artist” life and I don’t always get on.

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Is this you fishing for compliments? Because these questions are so original that you are rapidly rising in my league table with which I rank everyone I meet! No, I don’t have a league table. But I may make a trophy and hold an awards ceremony every year just for the glamour… I digress! 

My favourite person ever… Gonzo. Except he’s not a person, or an animal. He’s like me; a weirdo.

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (this is to settle an argument with my girlfriend. If you've taken my side thank you in advance) 

No, never. I try so, so hard; tidy house, tidy mind etc. But I’m either super-ridiculously-painfully tidy or I’m so “relaxed” that everything is a mess. And right now I’m falling into the latter of the two. I hope that doesn’t fuel the flame of your argument though. But then some arguments might not be about what they’re about… What do the drawers represent to you? I’ve got the number for a good couples counsellor if you need it?

Juliette Burton is at the Gilded Balloon from Aug 3 - 28. Tickets and info here.