6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

My mum is glad that I have something I ‘enjoy’ and is pleased when I do well (in terms she can see clearly, eg radio or TV gigs). My dad left us all for death.

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

It can really run riot in your brain if you’re not careful, I very rarely go without thinking about jokes or bits or hooks or lines for very long. Unlike office work or retail it’s unboundaried by shift hours so it can feel like you never truly leave work. I’m trying to put limits on it.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Thanks, I have felt that too but lately do not. But it goes up and down, ask any comedian I’m sure. There have been times where I felt truly gorgeous and sure, but the times of doubt and flatness are way harder to bear with. A certain imposter syndrome kicks in when there’s no spring in the step. Ends up feeling just like a job you’re doing to pay the rent, which is not what I got into it for, I was looking for God.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I’d like to earn £50 grand plus, but I earn probably half of that now.

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

I guess so, though it’s hard to spot. Getting to the BBC Radio New Comedy Award Final felt lucky cos I was so tepid in the semi, but lucky that Tom Wrigglesworth was on the judging panel perhaps. Christian Knowles happened to be in the night I had an amazing gig at Top Secret, and came over to me after to talk about signing me. That felt lucky.

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

Second if any, this shit messes me right up, I know it isn’t good for me but when it’s good it’s just so fucking good. It’s like drugs or gambling, I day dream about a clean life but can never seem to drag myself out of the sludge. But then it’s good again suddenly and I remember!

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Mmm, probably Jim Carrey or Vic Reeves just for dicking around and saying life’s ridiculous and being committed to not taking it too seriously (editor's note - not strictly allowed as they are comics but i like them too so left them in). They make my brain fizz and pop. Jerry Dammers from The Specials for being so smart and on it and having no front teeth even when he could afford to fix them. 

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

I can do, at the moment I don’t have drawers I just chuck my pants and socks on the pile by the boiler and keep my t-shirts on hangers on the walls in the living room. I guess neither are that neat. I’m not bothered by neat drawers. There’s too much other shit to worry about. 

Tom Ward: Love Machine is at Just The Tonic at The Tron from Aug 3 - 27. Tickets here.