Earlier this week I was accused of plagiarising a live review that had appeared on another comedy website. I hadn't, of course. It is just that Steve Bennett of Chortle and I have impeccable judgement. I saw on the Chortle homepage that they have predicted their British Comedy Award winners so I thought I'd better predict mine before I read theirs in too much detail.
Cynics and conspiracy theorists regularly suggest that the British Comedy Award judges sit around a big solid gold table carving up the awards so that each network gets its fair share of prizes and each management company is satisfied that the performers they want to get a push get that push. This is categorically not true. The table is silver. No really, it's not true. I've been on the British Comedy Awards judging panel and everything is fair and above board. No pressure is applied to judges and, in fact, voting is secret so nobody knows who anybody else has voted for.
It is a large panel made up of industry people certainly, but everyone declares their interests. Just because the show is broadcast on C4 there is definitely no bias towards C4 programmes. Transparency has to be the key, particularly since 2005 when Ant & Dec "won" the phone-in vote over Catherine Tate only for it to turn out that Tate had received more votes.
So anyway, here is Beyond The Joke's 2013 predictions. Apologies in advance if they turn out to be identical to Chortle's predictions, which you can read here.
Best Comedy Panel Show
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, C4
A League of Their Own, Sky
Have I Got News For You, BBC
Would I Lie To You, BBC
We Predict: 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown - a great subversion of the format. Funny and occasionally even educational.
Best Comedy Entertainment Programme
Alan Carr Chatty Man, C4
Saturday Night Takeaway, ITV
The Graham Norton Show, BBC
The Last Leg, C4
We predict: Alan Carr Chatty Man - not my favourite on the list, to be honest, but Carr does the job very well.
Best Sketch Show
Harry & Paul, BBC
Horrible Histories, BBC
It's Kevin, BBC
Psychobitches, Sky
We predict: A really tough one to call. My head says Psychobitches, my heart says It's Kevin. I'm a softy so I'll go with It's Kevin.
Best Sitcom
Bad Education, BBC
Count Arthur Strong, BBC
Getting On, BBC
Peep Show, C4
We predict: Got to be Count Arthur Strong. I'd love to see his acceptance speech.
Best New Comedy Programme
Count Arthur Strong, BBC
Cuckoo, BBC
Plebs, ITV
Psychobitches, Sky
We predict: I'd stake my reputation on this going to Plebs. but then I would - it has already been awarded.
Best Male TV Comic
David Mitchell, Would I Lie To You, BBC
James Corden, A League of Their Own, Sky
Jon Richardson, 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown, C4
Lee Mack, Would I Lie To You, BBC
We predict: Lee Mack is pretty funny on every show he appears on and consistently the funniest on WILTY.
Best Female TV Comic
Miranda Hart, Room 101, BBC
Nina Conti, Live At The Apollo, BBC
Sarah Millican, The Sarah Millican Television Programme, BBC
Sue Perkins & Mel Giedroyc, The Great British Bake Off, BBC
We predict: Richard Herring mentioned to me that it was strange that Miranda Hart was up for Room 101 when her own series went out this year, but that is not as strange as Nina Conti being up for the award for a single slot on a stand-up show or Mel & Sue being up for presenting a cooking contest. I guess the judges will give it to Sarah Millican to avoid riots in the streets.
Best Comedy Entertainment Personality
Adam Hills, The Last Leg, C4
Alan Carr, Alan Carr: Chatty Man, C4
Ant & Dec, Saturday Night Takeaway, ITV
Graham Norton, The Graham Norton Show, BBC
We predict: Another toughie - could come down to a battle of the chat show hosts. But I think they might have divided the panel and let Adam Hills nip in.
Best Comedy Breakthrough Artist
Adam Hills, The Last Leg, C4
Jonny Sweet, Chickens, Sky
Steve Delaney, Count Arthur Strong, BBC
Tom Basden, Plebs, ITV
We predict: A strong category this, but Steve Delaney/Arthur Strong should just pip Adam Hills.
Best TV Comedy Actor
David Mitchell, Peep Show, C4
Greg Davies, Cuckoo, BBC
Jack Whitehall, Fresh Meat, C4
Kevin Eldon, It's Kevin, BBC
We predict: Anyone could win this but it seems like there is no stopping Jack Whitehall at the moment.
Best TV Comedy Actress
Jo Brand, Getting On, BBC
Miranda Hart, Miranda, BBC
Vicki Pepperdine, Getting On, BBC
Zawe Ashton, Fresh Meat, C4
We predict: If the last few weeks of Fresh Meat had counted I'd have gone for Zawe Ashton but i think the vote is based on last year's series, so I'll go for Miranda Hart instead.
King or Queen of Comedy
Jack Whitehall
Sarah Millican
Alan Carr
David Mitchell
Lee Mack
We predict: This could be very boring and could well go to reigning king Jack Whitehall.
The results will be announced on December 12 on C4.
