What do your children think of your job?
I’m not sure they think of it as a job at all. Alfie used to think I worked at the airport as that’s where I’d be dropped off regularly when I used to perform on the cruise lines. They’d often get to travel with me and got very used to seeing me on stage but knew how much I enjoyed it so figured I must be doing it for fun. After a show on a cruise ship, everyone would know me and I’d have people coming up to me and chatting and asking my boys if they were proud of me. The boys always looked a little confused. What was there to be proud of? That’s just what I do. I was always quick to point out that I was more proud of them, mainly for not heckling me. Since I was on TV the audiences have just got a bit bigger and there are a few more nutters getting in touch.
What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Calling yourself a comedian. Too much pressure. If you call yourself a comedian and someone doesn’t think you’re funny, then in their eyes you’re a failure. I’m happier being an entertainer. Even if I die on my arse, you can still be entertained. Perhaps more than if it goes well.
I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I think I’m passionate about what I do and I love being creative but the creative arts are all very subjective. I’m just getting on with this until I decide what I want to be when I grow up.
How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I want to be very Zen about this and suggest that it’s not about money. That no matter what you earn, it’s about being content with what you have. But then I have two kids, one of whom is just getting into designer shit and the other who has no concept of money at all and wants to know why we can’t live in a mansion that’s big enough to have Nerf wars in like all his millionaire YouTubers that he’s obsessed with. So my answer is ‘more’; I have to earn more.
How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
There’s a lot of luck involved. Right place, right time. But you have to be ready when luck comes knocking or you’ll miss the opportunities. A popular quote attributed to Thomas Jefferson but found in writings going back hundreds of years says: The harder I work, the luckier I get.
Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into third category?
Can I be a tortured golfer? Like all of them? Stupid game. Just go for a walk. I can’t remember who said it but I like: “I’m an alternative comedian… I don’t play golf.”
Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
Only one? Outside of family and friends? I don’t know anyone else well enough for them to be a favourite. It’s true that you shouldn’t meet your heroes, you could be devastatingly disappointed. Once you’ve put someone on a pedestal there’s only one way for them to go: Smashed to the floor when you’re dusting and you knock them with your elbow. Unless they’re dead, then you’re not going to meet them. (I’m an atheist). So I’ll say Sammy Davis Jnr.
Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
Wow. That’s some pressure. My drawers are generally not very tidy but that’s only because I get immense pleasure from organising them and then seeing them so neat and tidy afterwards. If I didn’t let them get messy, I wouldn’t get that satisfaction every few weeks. I go from socks and underwear thrown in as a tangled mess to them all being organised by colour. That’s a happy day. I can only imagine the state of Steven Wright’s sock drawer… he pairs his up by thickness, not colour.
Jon Courtenay Against the Odds, Gilded Balloon - The Museum, August 3 - 14, 6.30pm. Tickets and info here.
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