What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?     

My mum thinks i'm the best comedian in the world and she likes to trash other comedians as a way of saying how great I am. I love that about her. My mum has always been so supportive of me since I took my first breath. From when I was just wee, I’ve been writing and performing. I used to write speeches for fun, and I'd write stories all weekend. On my 8th birthday I asked for a stapler so I could turn my stories into  books and I was beyond thrilled with it. From there it just escalated. I would arrive at my school principal’s office every time there was an assembly and beg her to let me put on a one woman show in front of the whole school. I did this multiple times before I even turned 11. I just knew I loved making a crowd of people laugh. I was born without the stage fright gene. I’ve just never been nervous talking to a crowd. It just doesn’t register in my brain as something to fear. My mum has always known this about me and always gassed me up so much. She’s the best person in the world and she literally doesn’t even flinch no matter what I talk about on stage. I just wish she could come to Edinburgh. She would love so much to have seen this.

What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

The worst thing about being a comedian are the deeply unflattering photos people take of you while you are performing. Literally it’s like they go out of their way to make you look absolutely terrible. I’ve never seen my face caught in such horrific angles. I try very hard to stay body positive but honestly the most mentally strong person in the world would look at themselves in a photo doing stand up, and immediately want to cry. 

I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Thanks so much that's very flattering. think i’m a really talented comedian too. We have that in common. I LOVE so much when the crowd come up to me after shows and tell me they loved my set and want to chat about it. However I also have a lot of mental health struggles. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD to name a few. I’m really comfortable being vocal about mental health struggles. It’s so important to normalise them for what they are. It’s also so important to take time when you need it and just tell everyone to fuck off so you can eat vegetables and go for massive walks for a bit and just clear your head.

How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

It’s so weird how people are obsessed with asking comedians how much money they make. It seems like one of the only industries where people will just casually ask you that, like it’s  somehow any of their business. Every time i get asked this question in real life i always say an outlandishly high number, with a dead-pan straight face and then also say “how much do you make at your job?” If you’re reading this and ever get tempted to ask a comedian how much money they make please take it as an opportunity to mind your damn business. 

How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

This one time, I knew a big American act was going to be in town in Wellington NZ, so I snuck into the green room before his show, before anyone arrived. I left my phone there. I went back to the audience and, watched the show and then afterwards went up to the manager and said “ Fuck man i gotta go to the green room, my phone is in there.”  So they let me in.  The big-shot American was still in there so I Immediately started talking shit about his set and he laughed a lot. He then came and watched me do a set the next day, then he booked me to be tour support with him around the country. It’s not so much luck as it is hustle really but it’s a good story. Lying gets you everywhere kids.

Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into third category? 

I fit into a third category called Rats and Potatoes. If you want to know what I mean by that then you should come and check out my debut Edinburgh show, Brinestorm. 3-28th August Gilded Balloon. 4:20PM

Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Sans my mum, my favourite teacher at high school was a guy called Tama Smith. Absolutely nobody has ever believed in me like Tama did. He still posts funny dog videos on my facebook wall every week. Never met someone who just point-blank-believed in me so quickly. Everybody else thought I was a massive pain in the ass but Tama saw the future, he knew who I was going to grow up to be and he was so deeply encouraging. I owe him a lot. One day when I'm super famous I'll take him on my private Jet. He can bring his dog.

Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

Yes, I keep my drawers tidy. Sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend are arguing, have you considered breaking up? 

Alice Brine: Brinestorm: Gilded Ballon Turret, Auust 3 - 28, 4.20pm. Tickets here.

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