What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?     

They are so proud it has morphed into shame at their overweening pride. Hubris is never a good look.  

What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

When you think you are funny but noone else is laughing. 

I think you are very good at what you do (at least I hope you are, that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

I’m a feminine feline spiritualist on the quest to the inner sanctum where the chi flows out the anus of imperial mysticism in a high-fibre low-carb beefed-up toned-down blood bath of exultant femininity with a capital ‘F’. 

How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I get £12.50 pocket money a week from my Sugar Mummy. WIth inflation rising, I’m hoping to negotiate for £13. 

How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

I’ve had a few packs of lucky strikes. 

Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into third category?

Third category: self-harming golfer. Golf clubs have many uses. 

Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Grumpy cat. She is my spirit animal. 

Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

My wife recently thanked me for folding her underwear so neatly. Therefore, I keep drawers tidy. 

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