Before I did this for a job I used to fritter a chunk of my daytimes away watching Mel and Sue presenting Late Lunch, their subversive mix of comedy and chat. There may have been some cooking in it, but I was more of a takeaway man myself then. Fifteen years later they are back with a live daily show for the next six weeks, profiles boosted by Bake Off, and I’m back too.
And in a way it seems as if they have never been away. From the start they were happy to send up the sunny sofa-based set and the cosy format, joking that this was not their real house and taking the piss out of each other too. Mel mentioned that she had seen Cats at the weekend and broke into an Elaine Paige impression, to which Sue replied: “is that an audition or a cry for help?”
The first show had a pretty good guest to start with in Jennifer Saunders, who has always championed Mel & Sue. Saunders wonderfully put her foot in it by asking Mel if she had been in all the episodes of Bake Off before apologising and realising it was live and her gaffe could not be cut. Red faces all round, but the hosts got their own back later, asking Saunders if she had been in all the episodes of French & Saunders.
The second guest, Gareth Malone, was a bit more vanilla, aimed more at housewives and Titchmarsh Show fans than hungover students tucking into their breakfast. There is nothing wrong with Malone, he was good company and game for a laugh, he is just genetically programmed to be not-that-exciting, so maybe the perfect guest for the slot.
And that is the only problem here. It’s on ITV. In the afternoon. It can’t really take any big risks. But at times it was so cosy it made Loose Women look edgy. Towards the end Sue did an interview with Barry and Carol in the audience. Barry had been in a coma but snapped out of it when he heard some music from Pinnochio. It was the kind of old school Ken Bruce/Radio 2 story that nearly sent me into a coma.
The cooking item also suggested that they had to work within certain polite parameters. It was OK for their guest amateur cook to say that by day she is a doctor but by night she is a raunchy Debbie Harry tribute act called Dirty Harry, but our hosts glossed over her mention of working with transgender patients.
Mel, however, did drop in a classical reference to Janus and they did make a Grindr joke which admittedly fell slightly on stony ground, so there is hope for them yet. At the end of the hour the audience was given free spicy peppers which were so hot I worried that someone might explode, but sadly nobody did. Now that would have got people watching. From the Great British Bake Off to the Great British Blow Up.
Mel & Sue, 4pm, Monday - Friday, ITV1. And on itvPlayer if you have a proper job.
