What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
???ALTHOUGH MY MOM & DAD WERE CONCERNED WHEN I ANNOUNCED, AFTER GOING TO/BEING KICKED OUT OF SEVERAL UNIVERSITIES THAT I WAS MOVING TO HOLLYWOOD TO BE A WRITE & DIRECTOR, THEY WERE SUPPORTIVE OF ME GOING AFTER THEIR DREAMS. NOT WITH MONEY, THEY HAD NONE. BUT THEY KNEW I WAS A WILD SPIRT NEVER TO BE TAMED NOR BROKEN SO THEY ALSO KNEW THEY HAD NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER. THEY WERE WORRIED BECAUSE THE ODDS OF MAKING A LIVING AS A WRITER AND/OR DIRECTOR ARE UNDER 3%. AND AROUND 1% IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE FAMILY IN THE BUSINESS; BLOOD FAMILY, FRIENDS YOU GREW UP WITH IN AND AROUND HOLLYWOOD HE GOT SUCCESS FAMILY, GOING TO UCLA, USC OR AFI FAMILY. MEANING, I HAD NO CONNECTIONS AND THIS TO THEM, TO ALMOST EVERYONE I TOLD, THOUGHT IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE IT.
WHEN I DECIDED TO DO STAND UP THEY, AND ALL MY FRIENDS, WANTED TO COME TO SHOWS WHEN I PERFORMED IN NYC (AND MY FRIENDS WHO LIVED IN HOLLYWOOD). I WOULDN’T LET THEM. AFTER I BECAME A “MADE MAN” AT THE COMEDY STORE I LET FRIENDS COME A FEW MONTHS LATER. THEN WHEN I WENT TO NYC I LET MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY COME - MY MOM AND DAD SITTING VERY FAR FROM EACH OTHER SINCE THEY HATED EACH OTHER (MY MOM AND DAD ARE ON A NEW JOURNEY IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION- WHAT MANY PEOPLE CALL “DEAD”… WHICH I BELIVE DEATH IS A MYTH). ANYWAY, DESPITE OF MY NOT ONLY TOUCHING ON TOUCHY SUBJECTS AND MAKING FUN OF THEM, THEY LOVED IT. THEY WERE VERY PROUD. AND THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY. THEY CAME TO MANY SHOWS AFTER THAT, MY DAD ONCE FLYING INTO HOLLYWOOD TO SEE ME PERFORM AT A VERY BIG VENUE.
What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
GOING TO A CLUB (THE COMEDY STORE IN LA) PLANNING TO DO A NEW SET BECAUSE IT’S AN OFF NIGHT THINKING IT WOULD BE A SMALL CROWD OF AROUND 50 PEOPLE, SEEING IT WAS A FULLY HOUSE AND THROWING OUT MY PLANNED SET AND GOING WITH MY A-GAME, GETTING MANY APPLAUSE BREAKS DURING MY SET AND HIGH FIVES WHEN I LFT THE STAGE AND FEELING COMPLETELY EMPTY BECAUSE I DIDN’T DO THE NEW MATERIAL I PLANNED AND WANTED TO DO. I CHICKENED OUT.
THAT IS NOT THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING A COMEDIAN, BUT IT IT WAS MY WORST EXPERIENCE YET BEST EXPERIENCE BECAUSE I NEVER DID IT AGAIN AND ENJOYED BOMBING IN FRONT OF 500 POPLE OVER NOT DOING NEW MATERIAL I PLANED TO DO.
THE WORST THING ABOUT BEING A COMEDIAN IS MANY OF THE OTHER COMEDIANS. CERTAINLY NOT ALL, BUT TOO MANY- ESPECIALLY COMEDIANS WHO ARE NOT A-LISTERS WHO USE THEIR COMEDY TO PICK UP WOMEN (OR MEN), WHO ARE NASTY, WHO THINK THEY ARE WAY FUNNIER THAN THEY ARE, WHO RUN OVER THEIR ALOTTED TIME THUS FUCKING THINGS UP FOR COMICS WAITING TO GET UP, WHO ARE MISOGYNISTIC-ASSFUCKS AND GIVE COMEDY, VENUES AND COMEDIANS A BAD NAME.
I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I DON’T THINK I’M VERY GOOD. I THINK I’M INCREDIBLY VERY GOOD. IF I DIDN’T THINK I COULD BE BRILLIANT I WOULDN’T DO WHAT I DO. I’M NOT SAYING I AM THERE YET. I STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN. BUT RIGHT NOW, MOST NIGHTS, I’M VERY GOOD- EVEN GREAT, SOMETIMES BRILLIANT. OTHER NIGHTS I’M GOOD, OK, OR TOTALLY SUCK.
BUT THESE VIEWS ARE NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE. IT’S THOSE WATCHING TO DECIDE HOW THEY FEEL. AND NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY TO OR ABOUT ME, GREAT OR BAD, IT’S JUST AN OPINION. NO FACTS. SO I DON’T LET THE GOOD GO TO MY HEAD OR THE BAD GET TO MY HEART. AND LIKE ALL COMEDIANS I’VE HAD COLD AUDIENCES ON A NIGHT I KNOW I WAS ON FIRE AND HOT AUDIENCES WHEN I WAS BARELY OK. AS WELL AS MANY NIGHTS WHERE SOME PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE LOVED MY SET AND OTHER PEOPLE IN THE SAME AUDIENCE HATED IT.
How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I’D RATHER NOT SAY WHAT I EARN. I WILL SAY, IN THE USA IT’S CONSIDERED A LOT OF MONEY. NOT AS MUCH AS I MAKE WHEN I WRITE A SCRIPT OR AM THE CREATIVE CONSULTANT ON MOVIES, OR EVEN WHEN I DIRECT A MOVIE, BUT MY PASSION FOR DOING STORYTELLING/STAND UP IS WHERE MY HEART IS NOW (AND WHEN I’VE DONE IT…I STARTED IN 2007, DID IT FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS ON AND OFF, STOPPED DUE TO OTHER PROJECTS I BECAME MORE PASSIONATE ABOUT, DID IT ONCE IN A WHILE DIDN’T DO IT FOR ALMOST FIVE YEARS, THEN GOT THE PASSION AGAIN IN 2022 GOING ON STAGE ON 31 MARCH FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ALMOST 5 YEARS AND THEN DOING THE FRINGE WITH WAY LESS PREP THAN I WOULD HAVE LIKED. LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES - NOT - I’M DOING THE SAME THING THIS YEAR DUE TOO A TV SERIES I’M IN DEVELOPMENT IN AND SEVERAL MOVIE PROJECTS. SO NOW I HAVE THREE PASSIONS, DOING STORYTELLING/STAND UP BEING #1 BUT LOVING TO WING IT ON STAGE AND WALK A TIGHTROPE OVER WATER AS SHARKS SNAP AT MY AND THE ROPE.
I WANT TO MAKE 1.6 MILLION DOLLARS FOR A ONE HOUR STADIUM SHOW AND $1000,000 MORE THAN DAVE CHAPPELLE GETS TO DO A NETFLIX, OR AMAZON, HBO, APPLE TV, COMEDY CENTRAL, HULU, DISNEY+, STARRS, MOVIESTARR, ETC. SPECIAL.
How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
???THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LUCK. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LUCK. I BELIEVE IT WAS BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WHO SAID “THE HARDER YOU WORK THE LUCKIER YOU ARE.” I WOULD SAY, “THE SMARTER YOU WORK, PUTTING IN THE HARD WORK, THE LUCKIER YOU ARE.” THIS ALSO MEANS TAKING MASSIVE CHANCES, GOING WITH YOUR GUT AND SEEING OPPORTUNITIES THAT OTHERS DON’T. THIS ALSO MEANS NOT GIVING UP AND WHEN PEOPLE SAY “IMPOSSIBLE” THAT IS USED AS MOTIVATION TO CREATE THE OUTCOME THAT MANY WOULD SAY “YOU ARE LUCKY.”
IF LUCK EXISTS, MY LUCK WAS BEING BORN A WHITE MALE IN THE USA. I DO NOT BELIEVE I AM PRIVILEGED, AS WOKE WOULD SAY. I GREW UP WITH LOTS OF OUTSIDE ISSUES, AS WELL AS MENTAL AND PHYSICAL. AND I’D ARGUE NO ONE IS PRIVILEGED BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK IS ANYONE TO JUDGE THEM NOT KNOWING THEIR LIFE STORY (GEORGE CLOONEY CALLS IT “THE BATMAN SYNDROME” - SEE, I JUST NAME DROPPED). HOWEVER, DO I HAVE PRIVILEGES BEING A WHITE MAN FROM THE USA - ABSOLUTELY!!! (AND SINCE MOST PEOPLE WOULD SAY I DIDN’T HAVE A SAY IN THAT I AM LUCKY. BUT I THINK I DID HAVE A SAY, AS DOES EVERYONE WHO DECIDES TO COME TO, OR COME BACK TO HELL… WHAT WE CALL EARTH)
Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into third category?
ALAN DAVIES IS WRONG. NO ONE IS THE SUM TOTAL OF WHAT THEY ARE LABELLED. AND SAYING THERE ARE JUST TWO CATEGORIES, JUST TWO LABELS IS MORONIC. I’M NEITHER AND BOTH AND WAY MORE THAN EITHER OF THOSE- LIKE MOST PEOPLE IN ALL LINES OF WORK. I’VE BEEN A TORTURED ARTIST, I’VE BEEN GETTING ON IN LIFE, I’VE LOVED LIFE, I’VE HATED LIFE, I’VE NOT GOTTEN OUT OF BED FOR WEEKS, I’VE STAYED UP FOR 4 TO 5 DAYS STRAIGHT (MANY TIMES) TO CREATE, I’VE PLAYED HARD, I’VE COPPED OUT, I’VE NOT EVER GIVEN UP, I’VE WANTED TO, AND TO SUM IT UP PARAPHRASING A FRANK SINATRA SONG;” I DO IT MY WAY.” AND MY WAY IS TO CALL OUT IDIOTS LIKE ALAN DAVIES WHO TRY TO BELITTLE OTHERS IN ORDER TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK BETTER AND TRY TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT OF THE GAME OF COMEDY WHO THINK WHAT HE SAID IS TRUE AND THOSE THEY ARE DEPRIVED OF A LIFE THEY COULD HAVE AND POSSIBLY WHOULD HAVE LIVED, AND POSSIBLY DEPRIVE THE WORLD OF SOMEONE’S BRILLIANCE. SO TO ME WHAT HE SAID MAKES HIM A FOOKIN’ BALLS.
(THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS BAD WORDS. IT’S THE CONTEXT AND MEANING BEHIND THE WORDS. BECAUSE IN ONE CULTURE SOME WORDS ARE CONSIDERED “BAD” WHILE THE SAME WORD IN ANOTHER CULTURE IS CONSIDER “GOOD”- OR NOT BAD AT ALL. AND WHY “COONT” OR “CUNT” IS CONSIDERED A BAD WORD MAKES NOT SENSE. THE CUNT IS A BEAUTIFUL PART OF A WOMAN’S BODY. AND IT GIVES LIFE. IT’S STRONG AS HELL. BALLS ARE WEAK AND COULD NEVER DELIVER A BABY THROUGH THEM. PUNCH A CUNT IT’S GONNA HURT. BUNCH BALLS IT’S GOING TO HURT A HELL OF A LOT MORE AND MORE THAN LIKELY MAKE THE BALLS PUNCHED CAUSE THE MAN THEY ARE ATTACHED TO TO DOUBLE OVER, WITHER IN PAIN, GASP FOR AIR AND THROW UP)
Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
BUGS BUNNY. AND YES, I CONSIDER HIM A PERSON BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO TELL YET I’M A BIT - ACTUALLY A LOT OF A NUTTER.
HE HAS FRIENDS OF ALL BACKGROUND, COLORS, GENDERS, ETC. HE DOES WHAT HE WANTS TO DO AND DOESN’T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK. HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING FOR MONEY AND COULD CARE LESS ABOUT IT, LIVING EACH DAY IN THE MOMENT AND FINDING JOY IN THOSE MOMENTS EVEN WHEN BEING CONSTANTLY CHASED BY A MAD MAN, ELMER J. FUDD, HELL-BENT ON MURDERING HIM. HE CAN WEAR A DRESS AND KISS ANOTHER MAN AND NOT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR THINKS. HE TAKES HUGE RISKS, HE’S FEARLESS, BRILLIANT, INCREDIBLY GREAT IN MANY DIFFERENT AREAS AND AND HE’S VERY VERY FUNNY…. WITHOUT TRYING TO BE AND OFTEN BEING SELF-DEPRECATING.
Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
I HOPE MY ANSWER KEEPS YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND TOGETHER, MY ANSWER IS NO ONE ANSWER. SORRY. I HAVE DRAWERS THAT ARE VERY TIDY. I HAVE DRAWERS, IN AMERICA CALLED “JUNK DRAWERS,” THAT ARE A MESS.
MUCHAS GRACIAS FOR OFFERING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE A PART OF THIS.
GAMBARU!!!
jD Shapiro’s new stand-up show ‘If It Ain’t Woke... Don’t Fix It: Stories from The Hood to Hollywood’ is at Just The Tonic @ The Caves – Attic at 5.20pm from 3rd – 27th August for tickets go to www.edfringe.com
Picture: Steve Ullathorne
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