2023 is shaping up to be a busy year for Ashley Blaker. The comedy producer turned stand-up has a book, a radio series, an Edinburgh Fringe run and then a national tour.
Blaker's book, Normal Schmormal: My Occasionally Helpful Guide To Parenting Kids With Special Needs is part-memoir, part-manual, totally hilarious. The second series of Ashley Blaker: 6.5 Children starts on Radio 4 on August 4. After an Edinburgh Fringe run from August 2 - 27 Blaker starts a national tour on September 7. He found time in his non-stop schedule to talk about his hectic life and unconventional family below.
For all Ashley Blaker information go to: ashleyblaker.com
Tell me about your family. "Blaker’s half-dozen" as you call your children
Adam, 18, and Dylan, 15, have autism and ADHD. Zoe, 14, has Down's syndrome. Dylan will only eat white food, or at a push beige. He won't eat Rice Krispies because they are too noisy. It took eight years for Adam to learn to speak, but as a teenager only eight minutes to learn to swear.
Zoe, who is adopted, is the most impressive member of the Blaker household, probably due in no small part that she isn't biologically mine.
Your other three children have not been diagnosed with autism, but you have your suspicions...
At home Ollie, 17, appears to be constantly furious with the entire world. Although living in this house I can't say I blame him. Edward, 13, continually watches the Star Wars saga to the point I'm not sure if he has a better relationship with me or Yoda.
Our youngest child Bailey, 9, has started referring to herself in the third person preceded by the definite article. She doesn't say 'those crisps belong to me'; she says 'those crisps belong to The Bailey.' I don't know which American show she's been watching but I want to kill whoever wrote it!
How would you describe the difference between neurodiverse children and ‘mainstream' children.
I've always thought that the difference between conventional and SEN (special educational needs) kids is akin to that between mainstream and more avant garde musicians. Coldplay are a perfectly good band, but let's be honest, a bit safe. Frank Zappa, Patti Smith, even Bjork, they are the SEN children. I was always drawn to the more experimental artists and I personally love the fact that I have kids with special needs – Zappas rather than Coldplays.
You talk in the book about coping with umpteen meetings and hospital appointments. Experience has taught you that the presence of biscuits is a useful indication of a good meeting...
If you go into the meeting room and instead if a plate of biscuits there's a box of tissues this isn't going to go well. Probably my least favourite school meeting was the How To Stop Dylan Eating The Textbooks Emergency Meeting. There have been days when there has been so much driving back and forth to school I've been tempted to ask if I'd be allowed to stay and join the class. You know you’ve got a lot going on when Great Ormond Street Hospital give you your own parking space.
Do your children like having a comedian as a father?
Autism manifests itself in different ways, but one trait my autistic boys have in common is that they take things literally and can't read the nuance of a joke. Which would be fine except their father is a comedian. Sarcasm is specially problematic for Dylan. He was recently out on a Friday and asked me what time I wanted him back and being a sarky dad I said '6pm, Monday.' He responded, 'but it's Friday, why are you saying Monday?' I'm forever biting my lip and trying not to make jokes in his presence.
Is your live show a version of the book?
No. Comedically, they're different. The book is a funny, genuine guide to parenting, things anyone with children could relate to. The stand-up show is less a guide and more of a narrative about our story. And it's probably a little bit ruder.
I love the thing about stand-up vs book because it’s actually the other way round usually – ie you can show something in the book which you can only describe in stand-up.
Has having a sense of humour helped you get through things?
Absolutely. When I pitched the book, the working title was, If I Didn't Laugh, I'd Cry. That was the the elevator pitch of the book. Looking for the humour in situations. So for sure, it has definitely helped. I'm laughing with my kids and celebrating them. I'm not here to moan. This is the book I wish I'd read 16 years ago when my eldest son was diagnosed with autism and ADHD.
Your work feels unique in the way that the children are so central to it
Sometimes when I've read books about parenting there are no photos or names which I find frustrating. It's hard to connect to them. When the first series of 6.5 Children was broadcast on Radio 4 people were messaging me saying they love this child or that child because you get to really know their personalities. You can only do that if you let down your guard.
Your story of bringing up six children - with the help of your wife Gemma, of course – sounds like a sitcom. Do you have TV plans?
Definitely. There is one chapter in the book about how my children have humiliated me and the five stories there could be five sitcom plots. There's one called Nipkinsgate but I won't spoil it for you. It's like an episode of [American sitcom] Curb Your Enthusiasm. I did think maybe we could do a reality type-thing, but the children are older now, I've milked them for everything! I think a sitcom is the way to go.
And anyway, now you have your own stand-up career.
I started when I was 40 in 2015. I did some stand-up when I was 16 but I didn't have the skills to deal with it when an audience just decided they hate you, which would often happen. When I went to Oxford, I thought I was going to perform comedy, and instead got completely obsessed with the work. I wanted to do a history degree then a PhD.
But instead you helped to create Little Britain...
When I left university I had no idea what to do. I went for a drink with two former teachers and one said, why don't you look for a job in the Media Guardian? We were a Telegraph household, so I bought the Guardian for the first time and an advert said. 'Do you have funny bones? The BBC needs comedy producers.' The week before I started I bumped into Matt Lucas, who I knew from school. He said that he and David Walliams were thinking of going their separate ways as nothing was working. I said why don't we try a sketch show? That was Little Britain.
When you pivoted from producer to performer you jumped in feet first...
I don't do things by halves. If you're going to have children, have six children. I used to travel everywhere to watch Liverpool. I can't do things just a little. So I didn't start going to comedy clubs to do five minutes, I thought, I'll start with a tour. And I'm suddenly doing two off-Broadway shows...
Do you sometimes wish you'd done more stand-up sooner?
Oh, definitely. It's a young man's game. But one thing I've learned, you can't spend your life worrying about the ifs and buts. One of my favourite phrases is, 'if a woman had balls, she'd be my uncle.' Although I'm not sure if you can say that now, people are free to identify in whatever way they want...
