What do your parents think of your job?
My Dad died when I was very young and as a result I had nobody in my life to curb my bad decisions coz my Mum has always just been very supportive of everything I do. I tell everyone who is considering going into the performing arts, try to get your most sensible parent out of the way early.
What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
There is nothing bad about being a comedian. I don’t know any comedians who struggle with finances, mental health or relationships. It’s such a stable and sensible career choice that I’m surprised more people don’t opt for it.
I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I’m a huge fan of me. But enough about me, what do you think I think of me? I think you think I think I’m great which means a lot.
How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I earn so much money I really don’t know what to do with it all. For example, the other day I had enough money for both myself and my dog to get McDonalds for dinner so we both ate like kings. But I believe in aiming for the stars so my ultimate goal would be to earn enough money that I could choose to ride the tube rather than the bus to my gigs, especially in winter. It gets so very cold. Even with a wool g-string.
How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
I’ve heard people speak of ‘luck’ and ‘success’ and I hope to one day experience either or both of these.
Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I don’t know who this Ellen person is but they’re certainly onto something. I would actually consider myself to be part of a third category as a ‘self-harming golfer.’ Please don’t dig too deep into this as a metaphor, I literally just enjoy cutting myself while playing golf.
Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
My favourite person ever is a dog named Stella who is YouTube famous for jumping into piles of leaves. If there was a third category of comedian called ‘retrievers who jump into piles of leaves’ I would be in that category. I actually think most clowns fall into that category.
Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
Interesting question. I don’t actually have a home and my entire wardrobe currently fits into a 7kg carry-on backpack because my set, props and costumes make up my 25kg checked bag allowance (I’m constantly flying between Australia and the UK). I do have a storage facility in Melbourne containing some other belongings and it’s pretty tidy but everything is in plastic tubs. Unless by ‘drawers’ you mean undergarments in which case I can tell you my g-strings are very tidy if not mildly discoloured.
Damien Warren-Smith will perform GARRY STARR PERFORMS EVERYTHING at the Southwark Playhouse Borough, from 29th November – 23rd December 2023. Info and tickets here.
Age Recommendation: 18+ - Content Warnings: Verbal Audience Interaction; Audience Participation Including Physical Contact With Audience Members (Entirely Optional); Full Frontal Nudity (you will see a lot more of Garry than you might expect).
