5. What has surprised you the most during your career in comedy? 

I like the fact that when I get a good idea, I’m still excited about it. A good idea almost writes itself, it kind of flows out of you. My favourite gigs are new material nights. It’s the best feeling when you do a new idea and it instantly flies, and you think, ‘that’s come out almost perfect’. Most of my new ideas don’t come out like that, by the way. Just ask anyone who was at Old Rope on Monday.

6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

My parents are very proud of what I do. I think they admire the guts it takes to do something a bit different, although I think they’d be happier if I had become a psychologist or a weather woman. 

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

When you meet a person and tell them what you do, and they start banging on about how much they love another, more famous comedian, and you can’t stand that particular comedian, but you can’t say anything because you’ll just look bitter. And then they start doing some of that comedian’s routines and you have to laugh generously. Otherwise you’ll look like you’re bitter AND you have no sense of humour.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Thank you, that’s a very nice thing to say. I have been trying to answer this question for 25 minutes, and everything I write makes me sound like a pretentious knob. And the harder I try to be sincere, the worse it gets. Then I try to be funny, and it looks dismissive of the nice thing you said about me. Difficult. So here’s what I think of me: I think I’m at my best when I’m not trying too hard, but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try at all.

I sound like a knob again. FUCK.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I would like to earn more money. There are things that I would love to be able to afford: flying first class to and from Australia would be nice. I do that trip often with my kids and it sucks. It sucks more than anything. I preferred giving birth to them.  I would also like to buy my husband a fancy-pants birthday present, but I can’t because there’s no money left over from keeping the children alive. He’ll be getting a sport biography and some full-fat yoghurt. I know I can live happily without these things, but they would be a nice touch. I think I’d be good at being rich, that’s what bugs me. I’d do things like say, ‘Do you like my Rolex? Here, have it. It’s a beautiful watch and I want you to have it.’ I’d do shit like that all the time.  Perhaps anyone from Rolex reading this should bear that in mind. 

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

I think this job is a long slog, and one lucky break won’t get you very far. You can always tell who the people are who have done their homework because when they get their ‘lucky break’ they produce something excellent. If a person just gets lucky, I think they get rumbled pretty quickly. I’ve had some lucky breaks, but they were before I’d done my homework. I’ve done my homework now. I’m very lucky I work in an industry that cherishes women as they mature.