Comedian Jo Brand has talked frankly about her childhood and much more to Jamie Laing on his podcast Great Company with Jamie Laing.
The discussion includes growing up with her father, her heroin addict boyfriend, choosing comedy, dealing with criticism and last time she cried. You can read some of the highlughts below.
Great Company with Jamie Laing is available on all podcast providers.
GROWING UP WITH HER FATHER
Well, I thought I was funny as a child. But then I saw an interview. For some reason, they went to talk to my grandad. And he said, "I was very grumpy." And I had to... no idea." So yeah, it's difficult to say. I think it's the middle child and I had two brothers and they were like complete kind of pranksters and would torment me, basically. And I think my favourite episode with them ever was where we lived in the middle of nowhere in Kent and we used to go and play in the woods all day like you were allowed to in those days. And I remember once I trod in a wasp's nest and like this massive swarm of wasps sort of came out and my brothers ran one way and I ran the other and they chased my brothers and stung them really badly, I was so delighted at the time, I was only seven.
I suppose so I kind of got I mean they were awful to me Yeah, I mean I once was sat on a five -bar gay and My brother my little brother Matt pushed it and it and it swung shut and I fell off the back and as I fell off my arm got sort of ripped open on barbed wire and what did my brothers do? Pissed themselves laughing. I had half my arm hanging out and I had to walk home on my own and then of course my mum and dad went, "Oh, and you know, we went to A &E and everything, yeah." But it was kind of a bit like that really.
I got chucked out of home when I was 16 for having a boyfriend who was a local drug dealer. And also my parents, my dad was like very left wing when he was younger. And this boyfriend was extremely posh and he brought me home. home quite late one night. And of course, my dad loved doing that kind of like old man brand thing. When he said to me, what do you mean by bringing my daughter home at this time and all this kind of thing? And this guy said to him, but my dear chap, right, which my dad's, you know, hated that sort of thing and thought it was patronizing. And he said, don't say anything like that to me again, or I'm going to hit you. And so he went. "But my dear chap, the fool." So my dad hit him and knocked him out. You know, And the thing with my dad, just to say, is that my dad suffered from quite severe depression, and I think that was the big part of his temper and his violence. He was violent on occasions,
Towards you?
Yeah. I'm over it.
I read that you your father was undiagnosed and he if I'm right in saying he had depressive episodes and you said that he would go through these episodes a lot.
He didn't, he wouldn't go and see anyone about it. My mum tried to persuade him for years and then eventually he did when he was in his mid 50s and he was prescribed antidepressants and it absolutely changed his life and it changed him.,And as an ex -mental health nurse, I wouldn't say anti -depressants are the answer to every type of depression, but certainly with him, it was, you know, life -changing really. It was really interesting. Yeah. Someone said to me, "There are side effects to anti -depressants, but the side effects to depression is suicide, so why wouldn't you give them a try?" I kind of really agree with that. that. And it completely changed his life for the better. He became, he dealt with life much easier then and he was very different. He was like much more relaxed, more humorous. You know, it really made a huge difference to him.
It was very hard [growing up]. It was very hard because he was, he had kind of, of odd ideas as well. He was very strict about particularly me because I was the only girl, you know, about me going out, about me going out with blokes, about all that sort of thing and I don't really, I remember they let me have a 16th birthday party and you can imagine what that was like. They said we'll go out and we won't come home till midnight and of course it all went like it does. and they came home an hour early and a friend of mine who was really pissed opened the door and threw up on my dad's feet so that didn't bode well and then he just kind of rampaged around the house shouting and threatening everyone and found some guy asleep in the car outside and went right give me his parents number And so rang the father up and said, "Will you come and get your drunk son who's asleep in his car?" This poor guy was obviously used to his son being drunk and going to sleep in the car and really didn't want to get up at night, half -twelve at night. Off to go to bed. I mean, God bless him because he's not around anymore. But in our village, because we lived in a little village, probably from up until when I... was about 11 or 12. In the village, he was known as Old Man Brand, and I worked out how old he was at the time, who's 37 when someone called him that.
I think it was complicated. I did love him because he was my dad and I kind of even sensed when I was young that he was suffering in some way. So I did give him a bit of leeway, you know. Because you could see that it was just not quite right. I could see he was very unhappy, really. Yeah, yeah. And I think my mum took the brunt of it quite honestly, you know, because I was of that era where parents, where you don't really know what's going on with your parents and they never tell you anything. And so you just have to work everything out yourself and get a bit wrong sometimes but yeah.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN UK & US COMEDIANS
I think theirs is kind of lighter on the whole apart from obviously some comics who are very dark but and our culture comedy wise is self -deprecation going as far as you can go without getting arrested you know and probably very different politics as well so I mean I I've, you know, like I've never been to America. 'Cause I don't want to. I've seen it from Canada. I went to the Montreal Comedy Festival and ridiculously, I went with a friend of mine and I drove from Montreal to the Niagara Falls, which is a five -hour drive and I hadn't quite realised that it was that far. And of course you can see the American Falls from our side, but she was endlessly entertaining because as we we drove into the park where the Niagara Falls is,
"Do you know how there it is?" She's sort of like, "Oh, right, she's great." And I went, "That's a fountain."
BREAKING AMERICA
Because I think I never wanted to, you know, lot of people do that thing, I want to make it in America. And I never felt that. I think the only reason I would go is to kind of see things, you know, like the Grand Canyon maybe just as a cliched example, because I never fancied Disneyland and I didn't want to soil the kids by taking them there. 'Cause it's just, it's just so commercialised. I don't know, I don't like being sold to, no.
HEROIN ADDICT BOYFRIEND
Well, we were together a long time. Probably... 30 years. Well, the weird thing, this is what happened. I'll tell you, this was this presage I want to actually say what, so you bring back this guy did you have your dad hit some then what happens? Well, then we've got a few months of them saying you can't see him and me kind of sneaking out. to see him and all that sort of thing. And then my dad's getting increasingly angry and saying, you know, you've got to get rid of him and all the rest of it. And then saying to me, right, this is, you know, here's an ultimatum. If you don't stop seeing him, we want you to leave home. It was that basically in the end. And ironically, I found someone somewhere to live and I moved in. But the same week that I did that, I don't know if it was deliberate on his part, but he just happened to get offered a very good job in London. So he then moved to London and lived there during the week and he would come back and see me at weekends. And after about six months, I, I, used to meet him at a pub in the old town in Hastings. And I got there half an hour early to meet him, walked in, thought he's not going to be here for a bit. But I walked in and he was in the corner snogging another woman, a woman, like a 17, 18 -year -old. So, in my head, I went, I've given up my entire life. life you I you know and look You've done this after only six months That breaks your heart. It was awful. It's awful. I squirted him with a soda siphon. I wore both of them because there was one on the bar and it seemed the nearest less fatal weapon, to be honest. - That'll teach him. him. Yeah, well, exactly. And so then he came kind of crawling back and said, "Oh, I didn't like what I was doing. I had a lot of drinks on the train, lalala." So I was so angry. So I pretended that everything was all right. And then over the next couple of months,
I plotted. Oh, no. So he went. The gunpowder plot. No, not to kill him. No. Always going back to killing. He went up to London back to work, not straight away after a few weeks. Well, I got my ducks in a row. He went up to London and he said, I'll be back Friday. So while he was up in London that week, I moved and I moved everything out of our flat as well. It was more mine than his really and so so I wanted this image of him coming back on Friday night, putting his key in the door and the whole place was empty and I had gone. So I did that. I was delighted with myself doing that. I never saw what his expression was when he arrived there But I just kind of could imagine it and interestingly it took him about a year and a half to find me me because I told everybody else not to tell him where I'd gone, all the people, close friends, you know. So nobody did. And when he found you, what happened? Well, when he found me, I was living in Tumbridge Wells because I was at school in Tumbridge Wells, so I had a lot of friends there. So I moved there and I got a job in a pub full time. And what happened was that one night I was working in the pub and he just walked, he walked in. Well, it ended up with us getting back together again for a bit. All my friends absolutely hated him. And he was a bit of a, he was a bit of an idiot really, but he was a little better in it. very charming and funny.
CHOOSING COMEDY
I think I probably wanted to do it for quite a long time because I loved comedy when I was a kid, you know? And I think, I suppose I somehow, in thought in one form or another, the world's a miserable place and if people can laugh for a bit, it makes it better, even if it's temporary. I suppose I thought that. So that's in a way, another side to being a nurse, if you like, to make people laugh and feel better for a bit. Or I did sort of have laughs with people. Because another thing that people think, I think because, you know, in the olden days, people with mental health problems were so dehumanized by the press or by, you know, the way that people talk about them. A lot of people would think, oh, I can't talk to them either. They'll pull out a machete and try and kill me or they'll be so weird that I won't be able to talk to them, you know. And obviously there's a proportion of people who are very ill and they've lost touch with reality. And yes, they're not that easy to talk to or identify within any way. But that's what your nurse training is for. And you know, with me I just found, I looked like, you know, you said I like people and I liked being... being in that job where we could try and try and help.
CRITICISM
Oh that's still going on I won't worry about that. I've had that for nearly 40 years. I had stories or I say anything you like honestly I can't you know I there is nothing in I know what because the weird thing about you would spat out or throw drinks at or have a drink thrown at me. Sheltered names calling you cow and all these different. Much worse than that.
That was my first ever gig and someone started chanting and actually it was a comic who did it. And he he was pissed and he just started shouting, "Fuck off, you fat cow, over and over again, "until I fucked off."
I think there were several aspects. One was me and my upbringing. I had a lot of issues with my dad, so I wasn't kind of out of touch with people sort of being horrible to me because my dad, not all the time, but had been horrible to me and we'd had to all learn to live with that as kids. So there was that. There was also working as a nurse and in the emergency clinic people's emotions were very heightened so they would be quite abusive and particularly towards me because I was in charge so I was the one who was always wheeled out to say I'm sorry we're not going to admit you or I'm afraid we can't give you any valium or I'm sorry you're too drunk to be assessed you'll have to leave. So I was like, I was like the head of that cohort that headed towards them. So I was used to really getting some much better abuse than I got when I was a comic to be honest with you. Much more imaginative and much more cutting, you know. Well, so like for example, when someone just said, "Fuck off, you fat cow." It wasn't like you you know, I hadn't heard it before. And I kind of heard it before better, you know, that would be accompanied by a side dish of how they were going to kill me, or they were going to rape me or whatever it was.
Well, they've said quite bad things in an audience. But you know, on the whole, there was never anything as bad as I got when I was a nurse. And I got hit when I was a nurse, no audience. members ever hit me.
BEST COMPLIMENT
I think to do with my... comedy career, it was a woman probably in her early 80s coming up to me in central London and saying, I saw you many, many years ago and I remembered all your best put downs and I've used them so many times with people that have been rude to me or shouted at me and they've just been brilliant, so thank you.
I've done jokes on TV shows. which have then been seized upon. I had a joke about Margaret Thatcher that went out on Have I Got News For You. And it was about when she became Lady Thatcher. And I said, that sounds like something you'd sort your pubic hair out with before you go on holiday. And so, certain tabloids didn't really like that, that, that I was disrespectful. But I wasn't trying to be, I just thought it was funny.
LAST TIME JO CRIED
Well, I can't absolutely remember the last time, but I've lost a lot of relatives and friends over the last five years. and I suppose the thing that kind of really gets me and everyone has their different thing is like music. So if a song came on that my brother particularly loved or a piece of music that my mum loved, I think music more than anything kind of makes me, you know, get a bit tearful really.