The latest guests on NewlyWeds, the podcast hosted by Jamie Laing and Sophie Habboo, are Katherine Ryan and Bobby Kootstra.
The discussion includes Katherine being dumped by husband Bobby, sex, Bobby taking Katherine for granted, breaking up at prom and getting back together years later, the marriage proposal, their kids and bumholes.
Credit: NewlyWeds is available now on all podcast providers.
Here is a taste of the wide-ranging conversation:
KATHERINE RYAN ON BEING DUMPED BY NOW HUSBAND BOBBY
Katherine: I was dumped whilst wearing a tiara at prom
Bobby: We were 15
Katherine: I think I legally when we talk about it, we have to be 16.
Bobby: So we were 16. And I didn't like, Katherine just we go to high school from grade nine to grade 13. She wasn't at my school in grade nine and then grade 10 I don't think I saw it. I didn't see you in grade 10.
Katherine: I didn't see you. Because you weren't tall enough.
Bobby: I know. I really was very short, short, short boy.
Katherine: Bobby was teeny teeny tiny. He's like an athlete now. He's really fast. He's really strong.
Bobby: I was always an athlete. I just didn't grow up until I was 15.
Katherine: He was a jockey. And then he grew and became an American football hunk. And I think all of a sudden over the skyline of his friends. Bobby appeared he rose above them he was tall. I saw his face for the first time and I just loved you and I was like, you're gonna be my boyfriend.
Bobby: Yeah, I don't know where you came from. But all of a sudden I was like, Oh, you're gonna be my boyfriend. That's true story and I was like all right. She seemed cool and she was cool and she was funny and like confident and kind of like very
Katherine: I had a nice bum as well. I had a nice bum before it was fashionable to have a nice bum it's gone now but I had it.
Bobby: it comes and goes. You never know what you're gonna get.
Katherine: You grew so quickly that he was fainting every day in class.
Bobby: And then so yeah, I just kind of became a man overnight. And then I you know, I had to, I was kind of waiting. I don't have any like pubic hair or anything. So I feel like I couldn't get the girls. I was really late. So like when you start like kissing girls, and like grade six and seven, I was doing that. And then I had to take like two years off. Because that was embarrassing. Because I couldn't. I didn't know anything either. Like I didn't know how anything worked. So then finally it happened for me. And I was comfortable enough to like, have a girlfriend and
Katherine: I need to take them off the market quick.
Bobby: Yeah, she scooped me up.
Katherine: I'm like a good investor. I saw the stock was low. It was on the rise. I needed to buy fast.
Katherine: We didn't go on dates back then it was all very… nothing like made in Chelsea. Actually, we've spoken about this before. And this is the perfect arena for it. So on one of your many shows that you've been very successful on, I feel that the group of friends really swap each other around a lot. And I don't know if that's British culture, or posh culture, or what it is, but our school was not like that, you got one shot and that was it. And then out of loyalty, you would never date anyone in that friend group ever again. And there were only two friend groups. So Bobby's choice to get with me meant that he could never date any one of my eight best girlfriends and I've never dated any of Bobby's friends. Well. And then you're allowed to date your cousins. We have that in common. Yeah, posh, people so it opens it up.
Katherine: We are just monogamous from the jump. boyfriend girlfriend going steady. Bobby is the second guy I lost my virginity.
Bobby: I lost my virginity to her.
Katherine: Yeah, so but you know what’s sad is that we threw it away at that age. It was like a mark of shame. Yeah, you want it to feel grown up. And there's a stigma about being a virgin. I blame the film Clueless where Dion said to Cher you are a virgin who can't drive? And I was like, oh, no, I'm also a virgin who can't drive. Like you can't watch teen movies. Now.
KATHERINE & BOBBY AT PROM, BREAKING UP AND GETTING BACK TOGETHER YEARS LATER
Katherine: We're at the prom. And Bobby had been drinking at the prom. He can still get a little sideways when he drinks. And he came up to me and we just weren't getting along. We hadn't been getting along for a few days before the prom. There's a series of events that then I got blamed for.
Bobby: I went in the bathroom the day before, because it was at our high school, obviously, and I hid like whiskey in the ceiling of the men's bathroom. So I mean, drinking straight whiskey that was definitely a first for me. So I couldn't, you couldn't really, you can't go in there and drink a bunch of beer, just have a couple splashes of whiskey. I really don't remember this.
Katherine: He was lairy. And then he's like, Ah, how did you say it you were just you just your behaviour was rude all night to me. And it was my prom. And I was like, where's this? What are you doing? And then he was like, I just want to be with my friends. I just want to concentrate on football, and I don't want to be with you anymore. And lady in red was playing and I was like, at our prom that we attended together. And I'd had enough because Bobby had been a little wishy washy for a few days leading up to this prom, and I didn't want to go back to him. And I think that women historically in the late 90s, we had a way of sabotaging ourselves where I was like, well, I'll make sure I don't go back to him. And then I looked around the after prom party for the most intimidating boy I could find, because we have the rule where you can't sleep with anyone's friends. I decided to get with the 31 year old security guard whose job was to do the opposite of what he did
Bobby: it did work because I'm like in the field of this party. And then I look up since she's up there like making out in front of everyone. I'm like, wow, I guess that's the end of that. Because I didn't really know that we officially broken up.
Katherine: So the trouble was because Bobby was drunk. He just thought that we were still together.
Bobby: I thought we were fighting but I didn't know there was like a breakup.
Katherine: I only got with him and subsequently had to become his little girlfriend.
Bobby: So you continued to like see him afterwards.
Katherine: Yeah, because I'd need to make an honest woman of myself.
Sophie: How long was that relationship?
Katherine: A month. Well, I, I've done this a lot in my life. So if you weren't really dig my heels in, if I get with the wrong guy, I'll be like, I'll show you. And then I tried to just make it work. And he was large and in charge, like he had a steroid steroid problem. Like really big, actual gorilla. And, you know, I'm glad that you laugh about it, because we laugh about it, too. It's dodgy, in many ways, it's not what we want for our children. But it happened. And, you know, we have no choice but to find the, funny bits in it. We're certainly not advocating that anyone go out and do the security guard at their prom after they're dumped by the quarterback.
Bobby: I just thought, good for me, because then it just taught me well, I can't go back to that now. And so I you know, she did own goal. So I was able to move on, swiftly.
Katherine: Well, we had a few other like hookups during high school. Yeah. Bobby messaged me a few times over the last 20 years. Yes, every, like, five years, 10 years, I would just get one little message.
Bobby: Well, like I said before, dating her first was, you know, I did think that you would your next girlfriend, everyone would kind of be equal or the same. And that's not the case. So over the years, I did come to realise, you know, Katherine was probably the nicest and in fact was the nicest girlfriend ever had the sweetest the kindest, and made the most fun. Like, we like to have a laugh.
Katherine: So I just wonder if your ex girlfriends and your wife's knew you were messaging?
Bobby: Well, there was always in it was always in the proper timeframes between divorce between whatever breakups I was on the other ones with.
Katherine: Well the first one was my fault. Because when Bobby got married, I made a post on the Facebook again, we're 41 And I said, Oh, my first love just got married. Both my husband and daughter told me it's definitely over for me. Like it was a joke. I was like I've definitely moved on. I didn't have a husband, it was a joke. Yeah. But I had a partner and I had a daughter and then Bobby replied to that and said, Well, you know, 60% of marriages end in divorce.
Bobby: Not on that day. Two years later, I've been separated on his wedding day on my wedding day. It came back as a nice memory. I'm like, I'm gonna comment on this sorry. I got no response back from it.
Katherine: And then there was one message in 2012 I think I was on set for something in Glasgow. And out of nowhere, I got a message from Bobby that was like, you were a great girlfriend. And I'm really sorry that I treated you badly. And I didn't, you know, give you the respect that it was it was really just a nice message. Well, I cared if I didn't always love him. It would have been like, why is this creep reaching out? You know, but I did need that apology, even all that many years later. And then all of a sudden, you know that you can tell men's behaviour changes when their light is on. So all of a sudden, we started to get some gym selfies on Instagram. And then yeah, he looked really good. And I could see that he was single. I could just tell by the behaviour. Psychically I knew I went to Toronto. Now at this point, I hadn't heard from Bobby in like 10 years. And I was with my sister. And I knew that if I put on my general stories to like a million people if I put I'm in Toronto just for the night, do you know anywhere cool that I should go? I knew that Bobby was gonna message me. And he did. And then he showed up and then we got married nine months later.
