Comedian, actor and writer Kate-Lois Elliott‘s family were brought up in a religious Christian cult based in South London until they escaped when her mother was 16.

She says: “My Mum was born into the cult; my family had been part of it for many generations, so it wasn’t a choice to join. Like many cults, I think it started innocently enough, a bunch of Christian people who wanted to worship without the yoke of the church telling them exactly how, just meeting for a cup of tea and a chat…”

Kate’s Mother had no experience of living outside of the cult but somehow still knew something wasn’t right: “Cults develop over a period of time, leaders change. My Mum was scared she would lose her family by leaving, but luckily, my grandfather agreed the whole family should leave with her” 

“After the cult, my grandparents stayed very Christian, whereas the rest of the family went in different directions. I think the longer you spend in a world like that, the harder it is to walk away from it. Also, the full impact of the trauma doesn't always surface until later in life, and it depends on your environment moving forward. All in all, I think my grandparents did an amazing job of acclimatising to the real world”.

Kate says they were lucky; there are stories of other members excommunicated from cults and left with nothing, some wandering the streets and living rough.

“When I was growing up, it wasn’t acceptable to have a weird background or strange upbringing, so my mum didn’t tell me too much about her childhood. However, she always strongly disliked authority and had an aversion to people having power over others. I grew up with the urge to question adults, friends, teachers, anyone really - and to take my own path. I suppose outwardly, I might have been considered rebellious, I definitely got in trouble for it. My Mum also instilled in me the value of standing up for people who needed protection. Only now, as an adult, can I see the huge psychological impact the cult had on my Mum and how some of that has translated into my own life.”

As a teen, Kate stood up for a friend being bullied and got between her friend and another girl with a knife: “I suppose I saw the bullies as some kind of toxic little cult, that’s schoolgirls for you. Luckily, the police turned up, and no one got stabbed”.

“It’s actually part of my comedy show that if you look hard enough – you can see the seeds of little cults everywhere – from friendship cliques to WhatsApp Groups. It’s actually a strange juxtaposition for me; I grapple with it. Groups make me feel safe, but group mentalities scare me. In those situations, someone will always ‘rise to the top’ and take power -and that’s too cult-y for me.”

Kate admits her dislike of authority has fed into her career choice. Having had many jobs in admin and hospitality, she always wanted to work for herself and ultimately rejected roles with bosses: “All too often, I encountered archaic systems that no one questioned and staff being micro-managed by authoritative figures who wielded power and sometimes scared staff into submission, which bothered me. Although some instances were quite funny. At one office, I put it round that there was a biscuit jar tally, and everyone became nervous about taking a biscuit in case they got outed — I’d just made it up for a laugh, but everyone believed it.”

Kate is bringing her comedy show ‘How To Belong Without Joining A Cult’ to Edinburgh this August. She says her Mum has seen the show as an early ‘work in progress’ - but doesn’t plan on seeing it again:  “During the part in the show where I talk about her leaving the cult, everyone claps and salutes her bravery, but I think she was just worried she would put me off by being there! Also, as some of my jokes are about my sex life – she doesn’t want to hear about that and we’d both be really uncomfortable, ha ha.”

Kate says, “The show is about enemies, frenemies and how everyone just wants to fit in (without joining a cult). I explore themes of group mentality in modern life - from school friendship groups and class systems to families and Fitness First. I’m so excited to bring the show to Fringe!”.

Kate-Lois Elliott: How to Belong Without Joining a Cult, Gilded Balloon, Patter House, Until August 26, 4pm, buy tickets here.

Picture: Rachel Sherlock