6. What do your parents think of your job?

My parents are awesome. So awesome I cannot praise them enough. They are the biggest supporters of my stuff and they really do not need to be. They gave me a great upbringing and they both have stable jobs and could easily tell me to sort my shit out and “get a real job” or “do something with my degree” but they never have. I have comedy friends who talk relentlessly about the pressure from their parents to get a real job and essentially give up on their dreams, and that makes me so unbelievably sad because all we want to do is make our parents proud.

So if they fundamentally disagree with what we want to be then I really cannot imagine how hard that would be. Luckily my parents have never questioned it. Hell, even persuaded me to stick with it in those times I phoned them crying in the dead of the night having eaten my twenty-sixth Pot Noodle of the week telling them “I just cannot do it any more.” I remember my Dad's words: “What else are you going to do? Sit in an office with a suit and tie and be a cunt all day?” It meant a lot him saying that (even though, ironically, he sits in an office in a suit and tie all day). He always had a way with words my father...

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

The connotations of the word “comedian” - I mean, I have said this a thousand times but when I think of comedian I think of the Jason Manfords and the Dylan Morans of the world. They are comedians. They are the ones standing on stage telling jokes and spinning you anecdotes. I don't think I have written a joke or spun an anecdote in my life. It is not my skill set. I would say I am (and I hate this term for its connotations just as much)  a “performance artist” in the sense that I use comedy in amongst a lot of visual and audio art to tell a theatrical story. The humour is a route into the bigger themes or concepts I want to explore.

I know that sounds pretentious, but I do not really identify with the word “comedian” any more. It comes with too many negative expectations, like when you are introduced to someone you haven't met as a comedian and they respond with, “GO ON MAKE US LAUGH BIG MAN?!” -  what do I do in that situation?! I cannot respond with a joke because I do not have any. So do I give them a slice of one of my shows? Strip completely naked and slap myself relentlessly with a belt before collapsing onto the floor in a pool of my vomit? I can only imagine how fun it would be to kill the question dead like that...

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Jesus, this is a very good question... I like me. But I am very self-punishing. Nothing is ever good enough. I can sell out big theatres and have the audience in the palm of my hand but I will come away kicking myself for that time I stumbled over a word and it will stay with me for days. It is all very obsessive and weird. It is the whole Neil Gaiman “fraud police” idea. The whole notion that no artist really believes in himself and he is waiting for the man with the clipboard to knock at the door and tell me my time is up and I am not fooling anyone any more.

That resonates powerfully with me. I believe in myself more than anything but I have to excavate through a whole load of self-doubt and mental neurosis before I get to that realisation. I do not know where it comes from because, as I said, I had a wonderful childhood. But someone along the line my confidence took a knock, and I guess doing satisfying work is the only was I can get it back up again.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I earn fuck all, which is ironic because nobody is working harder than me right now – I challenge anyone on that. I am selling out comedy venues but I am still pulling pints in a bar to get by. I am flat hunting at the moment and I have a tight budget so I will be sleeping on top of broken glass in a kitchen cabinet by the end of October and still paying through the nose for it. Fucking London landlords. They are the worst, they really are.

Money is not everything. I have been brought up well enough to know that – and I would not be doing what I am doing if I thought otherwise. But the answer is still more than I am earning right now. Enough for a decent flat, and some decent moisturiser. My face is as dry as a tumble-dried bathmat right now.  

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had
lucky breaks?

I haven't had any. I have worked hard for my breaks and I still have a long way to go so I will continue to do that. Luck is only a temporary thing. You can have a lucky break but eventually you will have to show you can sustain your talent. You might get a few things here and there but ultimately those who have had stuff handed to them and cannot prove themselves over time, will fall away eventually.

Luck is fine, luck is great if you get it – but sustainability is more important. Those who have clawed their way to the top are the ones who produce the best work mainly because they have learned so much from the battle to the top. My opinion anyway.

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you?

I will give you one guess...

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why - not including family or friends or other comedians?

Shane MacGowan. His music has gotten me through the toughest times in my life. He has this ability to encapsulate so much emotion and feeling in once line. “One summer evening drunk to hell I sat there nearly lifeless...”It's so good and so fucking evocative. He is the true definition of an artist. I was brought up on the Pogues, and I always remember sitting in the back seat of the car whilst Red Roses For Me played on a cassette tape and all the imagery just echoed throughout my brain: “... and I took him out the back and I broke his fucking balls...” - so aggressive and powerful – so expressive.

It really tuned me into the bigger themes of life at a young age. He has a knack of not sugar coating anything and just saying it like it is. The world is shit. Life is hard. But there is beauty everywhere. You just need to look hard for it.

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not?

Strictly tidy. All colour co-ordinated and at right angles. I feel if I can keep my belongings in order, then hopefully that will have a direct impact on keeping my mental thought processes in order. It never works. Ever.