7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Having to tell people you're a comedian, because if you have to tell them - if they've never heard of you - you can kind of see them thinking "oh dear, he must be shit".
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I think I'm pretty good at quite a few things; my trouble is - and always has been - that I don't know if I'm good ENOUGH at any one of them. I've always envied people who can be monomaniacally focused on The One Thing in their lives. I'm just too easily distracted.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
A bit more than a couple of years ago, not as much as ten years ago and not quite as much as I'd like to.
It's not much discussed among the not-we but the money a gigging stand-up can earn has declined horribly in the last decade or so. The actual fees for gigs have hardly gone up at all since I first started 20 years ago, while the specific overheads (petrol, train fares, hotels etc) have gone through the roof, as has the cost of living in general.
I'm fortunate in that I have other things going on; I've got my radio stuff and I can tour in my own right, but the radio doesn't pay as much as people tend to think (it's still a worthwhile amount and that's not why I do it anyway; the main benefit of the radio work is that's what gives me enough profile to tour) and touring isn't easy if you're not on TV. You're always competing with the comics who ARE on TV, who are constantly touring as well, because between you and me even doing comedy on TV doesn't pay that well these days...
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Luck is about 90% of success; we all know fabulously gifted and hardworking comics who've never achieved fame or riches. I had some decent breaks early on for which I'm very grateful but not many for a few years now. For the past decade or so it's been all down to hard work. Couple of things on the horizon though; hope springs eternal and all that.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories -golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
Well for a start I've never self-harmed OR played golf and I'm not sure which appeals less.
I think there IS a third category, a middle ground between cynical hack and tortured artist - there's your craftsman, and that's what I hope I am. I don't know if what I do has any great significance or resonance beyond its immediate function, but that doesn't mean I don't take a great deal of care and pride in doing it as well as I can. A master carpenter might spend weeks building a perfect table but at the end of the day it's still just a table, even if it's a truly magnificent table.
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
Can we include fictional characters? Doctor Who then (yes I know he's just "The Doctor" but if I say that out of context people will think I'm weirdly fond of my GP).
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not?
I don't keep ANYTHING tidy because I'm completely fucking pathologically incapable of tidiness.
