6. What do your children think of your job?
i'm not going all the way down to the cellar just to ask them that.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
The possibility of meeting Ian Stone.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
Hey, you're very kind. Thank you. Who were these questions originally intended for? To be honest, i kinda like my act. i enjoy the songs. Sometimes my wife sticks "Attack of the 50ft Woman" on the stereo and dances around the kitchen. i like that a lot. She's a great dancer. See? i still call it a "stereo" - that's how old i am.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
i'm not really motivated by money - you've been to my shows, you know that. We'd all like to earn more though, wouldn't we? It's hard-wired into us. Look at billionaires, still trying to make more money.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
i've been very lucky, in all manner of ways. i rely on it quite a lot. i still have my wife. Unbelievably lucky. Did i mention what a great dancer she is?
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
Yeah, didn't he also bite a tramp's ear off? i don't really know the answer to this question. i always thought golf was a form of self-harm. Strains the muscles of the heart. i'm not sure i fit into a 3rd category either. Maybe i'm not even a comedian?
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
There's an old man has an allotment near where i live. He grows an amazing amount. Fruit, vegetables, flowers too. Never uses pesticides or anything man-made. Harvests bucketfuls of stuff, every season. Then he gives it all away, and never talks about it. i like him a lot.
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not?
No. And, i dunno. i've never really thought about it. Or is this a metaphor? Am i missing something? i'm missing something, right? Maybe i should tidy my drawers? Did you know squid communicate using colours? Isn't that beautiful?
