Dave Cohen has written funny lines for shows as diverse as Have I Got News For You and Not Going Out. But before that he was a successful stand-up comedian. And before that he was a rock critic. He is about to return to the live circuit with a show that also refers back to his earlier career. Music Was My First Love is a stand-up show with a difference – it consists of one long poem. And appropriately he is premiering it at the Poetry Cafe in London. He is joined by some lovely special guests too - Arthur Smith on March 24, John Hegley on April 28 and cult comic John Dowie making a rare live appearance on May 19. There will also be a run at the Kings Head in May. More details here.

In a twist on BTJ's usual Rarely Asked Questions series Dave decided to turn the tables and ask me some questions. 

Hello, Dave Cohen here, I'm doing a new one-man show and the first night is on Thursday 24 March at the Poetry Café in Covent Garden, details here... http://davecohen.org.uk/content/see-me-hear-me

...but enough about me, isn't it time we found out more about Bruce Dessau? I mean, look at this website, hundreds of articles by him, but very little insight about what it is that drives a grown man to spend several hours a week in dark sweaty rooms hoping to be entertained - and still finds time to go to loads of comedy gigs! Nah just kidding. Comedy critics spend their lives asking us questions, now it's our turrn:

DC: My show is, to my knowledge, the first ever full length stand-up poem. Have you ever seen a stand-up show performed entirely in verse? If yes, can you give me any tips?

BD: Well Dave, I think you are expecting me to say I’ve never come across anything like your latest project, but actually I have. Alexis Dubus, who may be known to some as grumpy gallic gobshite Marcel Lucont, did a show a couple of years ago entitled Cars and Girls, which, as I recall, was one long poem about his Kerouac-esque adventures bumming around the world, hitching lifts and meeting women. Some of rhymed, some of it didn’t, but it was very striking. I guess the challenge is remembering your lines. With straight stand-up there is more scope to go off-piste, but this is a more scripted variant, more like a storytelling monologue. My best tip? If it’s a poem make as much of it as possible rhyme – that’s what people expect of poetry isn’t it? And rhymes are a great way of getting laughs. Steer clear of limericks though. They are cheap. 

This show is partly about me falling out with my dad. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does that make your heart sink? How many full-length shows have you seen about male comics falling out with their dads? And how many have you liked?

On a scale of 1 to 10? I wouldn't give a number until I've seen it. That's pre-judging. I’m not sure about falling out with dads but there has been a trend for ‘dead dad’ shows in recent years. Ever since Russell Kane won the Edinburgh Comedy Award with a show about his late father there has been a theory that a show about a deceased parent will always fool the critics who, contrary to their cynical posturing, are suckers for sentimentality. As long as there is a redemptive ending you could be onto a 10 out of 10 winner here…

Are you always being harangued by the big promoters? What's the weirdest thing a PR company has ever offered you?

Actually I don’t get harangued as much as you might expect. Not at all by promoters, a bit by PRs. I get a lot of emails but a polite response saying I’m too busy usually shuts them up. If that doesn’t work I try an impolite response.

Comedy PRs don’t have the budget to send weird things. When I used to write about music I was sent a Simply Red towelling robe with my initials on it. Not sure if they were personally sewn on by Mick Hucknall though.

Has the internet made your job harder or easier? 

It’s made my job easier in the sense that it means I can doublecheck facts in a few clicks. Sometimes I wonder how I managed without Google. I guess my memory was better then. But the internet has made my job harder in other ways. I thought my years of experience would be a selling point but when so much archive comedy is available on YouTube I’m not sure how much ‘being there’ counts. It’s great that I saw Bill Hicks and Mitch Hedberg onstage and young people are jealous when I tell them, but I’m not sure if that gives me any greater insight into their work than a superfan with a broadband connection.

When I used to be a journalist reviewing local bands, I lived in constant fear that members of bands I’d slagged off would seek me out and beat me up. How do you deal with angry comedians – or, arguably worse, comedians who ask why you haven’t reviewed them yet?

I don’t often give people a serious slagging. When I choose shows to review for the Evening Standard I’m tending to choose the best shows around so I’m unlikely to be slagging them off. I’m not mad about arena gigs. I’ve been negative about Michael McIntyre and Lee Evans in the past when they have played enormodomes, but I wouldn’t expect them to corner me in a dark alleyway.

I'm sure you get asked this all the time, but here it is anyway... are you a frustrated performer? Planning on trying it any time soon?

I get asked this all the time. I’m not a frustrated performer. I’m probably the only comedy critic who hasn’t ever been a performer in some way. And I’ve never done one of those articles where I do a stand-up course either. No plans to change the habit of a lifetime.

Would you consider not reviewing an act because you dislike the venue so much?

As I alluded to earlier, I don’t choose to go to the O2 but as the big acts play there it’s my job to go. I’m not complaining, I’ve got a pretty good job. If I enjoy the gig I’ve had fun, if I don’t enjoy the gig, well, at least I got a free ticket and was paid to go, unlike the other poor saps there. I've never knowingly been to the Poetry Cafe so can't comment on the facilities there.

Alan Davies may have said 'there are only four types of journalist: storyteller, newshound, analyst or provocateur.' Which are you?

Dominic Maxwell at the Times is a storyteller, Steve Bennett at Chortle is a newshound, Brian Logan at the Guardian is a provocateur. So I guess that makes me an analyst.