6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

My parents have come to terms with it - they weren't initially keen.  Mum always keeps encouraging me to find other ways of making money, including sewing my own clothing range, and Dad likes to talk to me about teacher's pensions and how I can always go back.  My stepkids - well Kevin has been a comedian since before they were born, so they know what we do, and neither of them want to be comedians.  I think they think it suits me/us.  

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

Roadworks and diversions that don't seem to make sense.  Comedy is about getting to the point as eloquently and efficiently as possible, which is rewarded by laughter and clapping.  Driving home feels like the highways agency is trying to work wrinkles into my eyebags, give me an unnecessary tour of every hamlet of the United Kingdom and my reward is potholes, a sore neck and a spreading bottom.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

Thank you!  I like it, I enjoy it. I secretely obsess about it, and I love creating things, and honing it.  Writing a joke is very satisfying when you realise you've worked it out, they're all little puzzles, and then creating a show is piecing together a huge landscape that has it's own independent form to the others.  I can happily say that now, as I'm on my seventh!  I love it.  I found the thing that I wanted to do, and it suits me. 

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

How vulgar!  Surely we don't talk about such things?  I don't earn enough to pay tax.  I would like to earn enough to pay the highest level of tax possible.

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

Luck is really important.  Being prepared for luck to strike is more important.  I've had lucky breaks - finding a garage open late when my car broke down in Wales.  Garages not being sold out of chicken tikka samosas.  People coming to see me, and ALSO having a good gig is great, being nominated for awards is great and winning one is good because it means the lens of the industry focuses on you, and want to see what you're up to for a while.  Preparation is intensely important, and then luck is the thing that takes your hard work to the next step.  Pre-buying chicken tikka samosas works too.    

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

Well, I can play golf - my Dad taught me, but I prefer a driving range to a golf course, because you can really clear your mind - all you have to do is get the little white ball into the net.  I can struggle over what I write,  sometimes an idea is tricky to realise, but I don't aim to be unhappy or be tortured in art/life.  I don't ascribe to the idea that you need to be in pain to generate something artistic, for me that would be counterproductive.  Generally the happier I am, the more I can share that with people.  

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Sir David Attenborough because of his enduring curiosity, his love of the beautiful planet and all of its creatures no matter how vicious or ugly and the people I know who've met him always say what a nice person he is and has a great sense of humour.  

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (this is to settle an argument with my girlfriend. If you've taken my side thank you in advance)

No.  My drawers are like personal bins of important items I can't throw away, but looks messy when it's on a surface, so I have to shove things in drawers. I WISH I could organise my drawers, and one day I will wish it again, but will it ever happen?  No, until I move, then briefly I'll organise the drawer, then I'll unpack the drawer and then it will become a drawer, ie a personal bin of stuff I can't throw away again.

Diane Spencer: Seamless is at the Gilded Balloon until August 29. Tickets here.