6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
The old man quite likes having the house to himself, but still waits up, the daughter is a playwright so understands the frustrations, the jealousies and any small triumphs.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
The fury of it all, I don't watch any TV programmes or listen to any radio shows which I feel I should have guested on and haven't been asked, they can all rot in hell.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
I think I'm a really good performer, who is rubbish at improvising - I cant do all that patter stuff so I'm a crap compere, but I've put a chunk into the new show which involves reacting to new stuff every night and its been really good for me. At my best I am a lovely writer and I love writing but I need to perform because I am attention-seeking and needy of applause.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I have done three huge tours this year, a 3 month solo spring tour, a 3 month Grumpy tour and I'm back on the road with another 3 month solo tour right now, so I've earned a disgusting amount of money thank you. However, I have already been warned that my tax bill next year will take everything I earned from July onwards to clear, which occasionally makes me feel weepy. I'd like to earn enough to pay off this fucking mortgage which is like a great stinking dead albatross hanging around my neck.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Oh God, I don't know, sort of and not, I still feel that there are so many other elements, I started elbowing my way in in the early '80s when there seemed to be this invisible Oxbridge barrier to getting onto telly, but when you are failing you will find any old excuse as to why you're not where you think you should be. To be honest, Grumpy was an enormous break through and by then I was in my forties - I dont think I can ever catch up with the really big names but I also think seething suits me, it spurs me on, most of my career has been run on spite.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I'm the female golfer who isn't allowed to play because she's sworn at the captain, drinks too much in the bar and then almost dies of shame in the toilets.
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
This is the hardest question but lets go for Marianne North (as my mother would say,' look her up') oh and Leonora Carrington (ditto), basically any women that confound expectations.
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
I live with a designer, our house is kind of minimal, which means drawers are always shut, but that doesn't mean to say when you open them it doesn't look like there's a family of rats nesting inside.
