6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?
Mum hates it of course, she equates acting with whoredom. And yes there is a crossover but still... My daughter Mahogany has rebelled horribly against a childhood in the arts and will speak to me only through her dull husband, Brian.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Being made to get off the stage. No I don't time my set.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?
As you know I am NOT one to brag, however I don't think its hyperbole to say my work is quite possibly the most important work that is going on in the world right now. And yes, that includes doctors, fireme,n etc. Theatre saves lives. And I am arguably its Mother Theresa. But hot.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
It fluctuates drastically. Often it’s just a sausage and some mash. So in that case I would ask for perhaps a slice of bread or a pudding. In terms of actual cash I would love a million pounds.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
I've had endless lucky breaks, but sadly never realised it till after the fact, by which point I'd entirely spunked the opportunity. I think luck is important but you must have some modicum of talent. As much as I love crunchy nut cornflakes I wouldn't pay to see them act.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I will not be categorised. However I will say that I once harmed a golfer. Is that relevant?
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
The audience. To me they are one lovely cuddly person called Bernard. They give me so much for so little. (£10 at most)
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
I have a man who 'keeps my drawers' for me. He's not cheap but he does the job.
