6. What do your parents/children think of your job?
My mum grew up in a pub surrounded by drunks running their mouths off and setting the world to rights. Having worked incredibly hard to ensure I never had to eke out a living listening to an endless parade of wankers and piss artists ‘telling it how it is’ and ‘sticking it to the man’, I’m sure she’s absolutely delighted.
7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?
Not being able to add gift aid to museum tickets without a long explanation about how it’ll make your tax harder to do and that you’re not really a real person and the 48 hour receipt tsunami in January is already unbearable enough without the added complication of gift aid claims. So you just have to say ‘no’ and bathe in their rightfully suspicious stare. That and the utterly crippling toll to takes on all human relationships.
8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you
I’m getting there.
9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?
I tell jokes and people give me money. I have enough money to live a life not usually afforded to those who can also get out of bed at lunchtime.
10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?
Too many to mention but not enough to have my own chat show. It’s certainly a factor, but I was lucky enough to be in a position to have a bash at doing this in the first place so I’m not really owed much from the universe in the grand scheme of things. Having said that, I want an f’ing chat show and I’m sick of every other bastard in the world getting all the breaks.
11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latterare tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?
I’ve recently given up drinking whiskey and bought some golf clubs. So by that logic I’m making an effort to get on with life I suppose. I absolutely hate golf though, so that still qualifies as self-harm.
12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?
Dr. Andrew Nash, my A-Level English teacher. He had a phenomenal gift for communicating his passion for the subject. I doubt I’d be working in the arts had I not taken his class. You were asking about lucky breaks earlier, I’ve been extremely lucky to meet some really great teachers.
13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).
My father always told me never to get in the middle of an argument.