6. What do your parents/children (delete as applicable) think of your job?

Ey it would be funny if I had to delete both parents and children wouldn’t it? Actually no, that would be harrowing. My parents are very proud as well as very critical of me. They come to a lot of my shows and come to Edinburgh at least twice each year to see the show. They do so much in helping me organise props and my mum makes all of the Funz and Gamez merchandise so if you’ve got a T-shirt with a couple of Z’s missing or a cup without a handle, you can blame her.

7. What’s the worst thing about being a comedian?

Well the obvious one I suppose is the travel involved but I actually think it’s having to spend time with other comedians. I spend a lot of time alone and I hate my own company. Imagine having that hatred increased by “comedian’s drinks” or even worse, “an event”? We are genuinely the worst people in the entertainment business and when I say “we”, I mean “they”.

8. I think you are very good at what you do (that’s why I’m asking these questions). What do you think of you?

I think I’m hilarious but don’t take my word for it, take the word of “Ed Fringe review” with their army of 18 year old simpletons. I do actually think it would be very sad if a comedian didn’t think they were funny. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of comedians should think that they are dog shit but strangely they don’t and they carry on doing middle spots at the “Giggle Funky Lolz Shack” in Bradford until the day they die…. Alone. Why would you continue to do something you’re crap at? It makes no sense. That’s the very reason I no longer play football or try to forge a lasting bond with another human being.

9. How much do you earn and how much would you like to earn?

I make a lot more doing comedy than I did working in an airbags factory but I’d like to earn a little more so I can throw that extra cash into the well of debt I’ve accumulated through poor lifestyle choices and once trusting a man who made me believe that he actually owned one of the lions in Trafalgar Square. The bastard!

10. How important is luck in terms of career success – have you had lucky breaks?

I think luck is very important but that’s only a small part of becoming successful. You have to have talent (there are exceptions to this rule) but mostly I think hard work and having something to offer are vital to success (again there are bloody loads of exceptions to this rule). I had a lot of luck in 2014 with Funz and Gamez but essential[y its success was down to it being a bloody great idea with a great cast. Luckily my luck turned really quickly and within no time I was back at the “GiggleFunky Lolz shack” in Bradford where I belong.

11. Alan Davies has said that comedians fall into two categories - golfers and self-harmers. The former just get on with life, the latter are tortured artists. Which are you – or do you think you fit into a third category?

I’m just a sad man with a grudge.

12. Who is your favourite person ever and why – not including family or friends or other comedians?

Tom Cruise because he’s the best damn actor in the world and he’s rumoured to be a lovely man. Yes he’s made a few…. Questionable life choices but you name me a Tom Cruise film that’s unwatchable (pre-The Mummy. That film really fucked my argument recently). Tom Cruise makes every film at least 25% better. Imagine putting him in Minority Report…. Again! How good would that film be? 

13. Do you keep your drawers tidy and if not why not? (please think long and hard about this question, it's to settle an argument with my girlfriend. The future of our relationship could depend on your response).

I am a very tidy person. Almost creepily tidy but thanks to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy I do occasionally leave a dirty mug in the sink. However, despite all of my cleanliness I do actually just throw all sorts of random crap in my drawers with no order or consistency to each drawers content.