My editor on the Evening Standard was deciding whether to run a review of Dawn French’s touring show in Brighton last night and asked me who had reviewed it already. I replied that I didn’t really know. I vaguely remembered seeing some headlines on some arts pages when the tour started, but I had made a point of not reading the reviews. I didn’t want them to prejudice me for or against a show before I had made up my mind. The star rating system, which the Stage newspaper has just succumbed to, makes things even worse. The slightest glance can now be a dead giveaway.
This may come as a shock to some performers out there who think that critics all hunt in packs and agree on what they are going to say about a show in the bar during the interval. In fact among theatre critics there is an unspoken pact that they don't discuss a show on the night. Of course I’m sure this rule is regularly broken – critics are human after all and love a gossip – but by and large arts writers are opinionated enough to make up their own minds about what they have just seen. It's those opinions that help them to land the job in the first place.
The fact that we decide for ourselves does surprise people. Particularly when critics use the same words or phrases. A few months ago I reviewed a show and someone I didn't know said something on Twitter to the effect of “I see Bruce Dessau has shamelessly plagiarised Chortle again.” What my low-level troll didn’t realise is that while Chortle’s review appeared online before my review in the Evening Standard, my newspaper deadline predated his review’s online appearance. After the explanation and a jokey threat of lawyers becoming involved – this was shortly after the Lord McAlpine Titter thing – a grovelling apology was received.
Chortle was at Dawn French last night too. I haven't seen their review yet and, as it happened I haven’t written mine yet, but I have a sneaking feeling we may both use a word that starts with an “s” and ends with a “y” (and/or another that starts with a “t” and ends with a “l”). But please don't tell me if they did. I won’t be reading their review until I’ve hit send on my laptop.
