I don’t know whether it is because she is busy bringing up a family or spending too much time in her native Australia but we don’t see enough of Sarah Kendall onstage in the UK these days. The 2004 Perrier nominee – remember those? – is back this year with Touchdown, a coming-of-age show about events in her life in 1992.  She had been picked for her high school touch rugby team and thought things were looking up, but then things took a turn for the worse, both romantically and dentally…

We asked Sarah to answer our RAQs and she put some hard work and effort into her replies. Pay attention comics and comedy fans, these answers are worth reading. Sarah Kendall is at the Soho Theatre from February 24 - 28. Tickets here.

1. What is the last thing you do before you go onstage (apart from check your flies, check for spinach between teeth and check your knickers aren't sticking out of your skirt)?

Before my shows I like to undo my fly, put some spinach between my teeth, and pull my knickers out of my skirt. I jest. The last thing I do before I go on stage is a wee. On the toilet. I can’t stand going on stage with even a teaspoon of urine in my bladder. It throws off my concentration. It’s like trying to go to sleep without doing your last wee of the night. I’m saying this like everybody feels the same way. I’ve never asked around, but I’m assuming most people feel the same way. To live any other way would be unreasonable. 

2. What irritates you?

When I open the door for a stranger and they don’t acknowledge it. I’m sitting in a café right now, looking at the smug prick that did exactly that to me about 20 minutes ago. And then he took forever to order, he just stood there gazing at the blackboard, and after about three minutes ordered a regular cappuccino. I mean really. I also get irritated by litterbugs and people who tailgate. I should have just written ‘thoughtlessness’ as my answer, but that would look like I wasn’t trying. It would look thoughtless.

3. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?

When I was 19, my friend and I hitchhiked to a late night convenience store at 3am when we were hammered because we had run out of cigarettes. As a parent to a daughter, everything about that sentence fills me with horror. It pretty much ticks every box for idiotic behaviour. Still, it’s not as stupid as what I did in my next answer.

4. What is the most stupid thing you have ever done?

When I was 7 months pregnant, I went swimming in the surf where I grew up in Australia. I had kind of underestimated the conditions and overestimated how strong a swimmer I was, given I was ‘with child’, I was very heavy and surprisingly weak. I really had to swim as hard as I could to get back into shore without getting dumped by a wave or caught in the rip.

As you can see, I’ve done some stupid things. Let’s hope my next answer showers me with glory. 

Click here to read more of Sarah Kendall's answers.