In addition to my solo stand up show, “The Gospel According to Stephen”, I am also performing in another show at the EdinburghFringe, “Routines” with Dana Alexander, Will Mars and Matt Roper. 

 

This show is the brain child of Will Mars. It lies somewhere between stand-up, improv and theatre. It is a show within a show. There is a stand up gig with compere and three acts run along fairly conventional lines. But the show also features the green room, where the audience get a peak at the goings on back stage. The dialogue for the green room scene is largely ad-libbed and often refers to events unfolding in the gig, references to actual audience members, reviewers that are in the day etc. There are also “freeze frame” moments, where regular time is suspended and a moment-in-time is drawn out. E.g. as the compere and other comedian cross on stage they may have a momentary exchange of words, this moment can be stretched out in this show to ten and twenty seconds. 

 

I have been enjoying “Routines” immensely and am having a ball working with the other acts. It also provides an opportunity to stretch myself performance wise, to display different skills and to drum up publicity for my solo show. I always exit flyer "Routines" for my solo show. 

 

Routines is being performed at a Laughing Horse Free Fringe Venue; my Solo Show is being performed at the PBH Free Fringe venue. This contravenes PBH terms and conditions. PBH insist that if you play their Free Fringe you don’t perform at any other Free Fringe venues. Laughing Horse Free Fringe has no such embargo on playing PBH venues. Neither do Freestival nor Bob Slayers “Heroes of the Fringe” nor do the paid venues. 

 

Routines finishes at 4.45pm. After we exit flyer, we then have to reset the room for the next show which includes re-arranging all the chairs. We finish this by about 5.00pm and exit into the Three Sisters Court Yard where we chat/debrief for about 15 minutes. At around 5.15 the cast of Routines and I leave the three sisters to head to my flat for diner. 

 

As we are walking, I switch on my phone. A text message appears from Peter Buckley Hill timed 3.51pm, this is during "Routines".

 

 

 

 

 

 

People around me start getting very annoyed on my behalf but I remain strangely calm. I have to think through my options. PBH is an implaccable kind of a guy and I don’t think he will change his mind. I will have to start making alternative Fringe arrangements. There is a eye of the storm quality to  all of this. I need to find a new venue. Alter the flyers and posters. Get some publicity. 

 

Word spreads fast. Alex Petty calls to offer me a slot at Laughing Horse. John Campbell asks for an interview for his blog. I speak to Bruce Dessau. There are messages of support, messages of what the fuck? I put a notice on facebook.  A discussion rages on facebook as to the rights and wrongs of the thing. 

 

I phone the venue to see whats what. It is already a fate accompli. The venue staff have been called by the pub owner to instruct them not to let me perform.

 

I turn up at the Canon's Gait for my allotted slot. I am not sure why I do this. I tell myself it is to apologise to any audience members who have turned up. I hope I’ll bump into to PBH so I can have a chat with him/ argument in person. I want to thank the staff. But perhaps it is just force of habit or maybe I'm hoping it's not true. There are a few audience members still milling around. I apologise for their wasted journey. I try to explain why I have been kicked out the venue. They seem perplexed. I enter the venue. Is PBH there? Will this be a showdown? Or a polite chat? He is not there. A chain is across the entrance to my venue. The chain is routinely used to close the room during performances but tonight it has “Show Cancelled” sign attached to the chain. The chain takes on an extra potency. 

 

I walk into the bar. There are four of five customers in there. I approach the bar to speak to the bar staff. I want to thank them but there is a lot of not meeting my eyes. It is not just embarrassment its as though I am a sex offender who has just moved into the neighbourhood and I’m not making much headway of the pleasantries. I don’t know what they’ve been told? But I get the impression they think I have done something heinous. The only experience I can liken it too was the time I stole a forklift truck at a summer job factory and the management were a mixture of disappointed/angry/disgusted/embarrassed/ashamed. 

Come on guys. It is not like I’ve killed somebody. 

 

This is a particular low point and the only moment where things really get me down. I enjoyed a good relationship with the bar staff and knew many of them from last year when I played the same venue. I have always made a point of getting on with the bar staff. The performance space has its own bar which is manned throughout my show. Therefore there is always one member of staff present throughout the whole performance. They watch many shows throughout the run and are good at giving feedback. Several of the bar staff are also performers so their input is aways worth listening too. 

 

I leave the Canon’s Gait and wander aimlessly for a bit. I never knew how adrift it felt to not have a show at the Edinburgh Festival. Sometimes acts who are having a year off from Edinburgh arrive in Edinburgh for a few days and always say how much they are loving not having to do a show; It must be hell.