Blind Date used to be part of my Saturday night getting-ready-to-go-out ritual. I don't go out as much on Saturday nights now. Can the new Blind Date, fronted by Cilla Black’s chum Paul O’Grady become part of my staying in ritual? The theme tune was the same, but would it still be a lorra lorra laughs?
Well as O’Grady acknowledged at the start – albeit it in a fairly coy way – the dating world is different now. Although he didn't say it who needs to go on television to meet people when there’s Tinder and Grindr? The old school Blind Date had it’s fair share of smutty innuendo but it was a world away from dick picks and dogging.
Some things never change though. The contestants still came out with the kind of cheesy lines that didn’t exactly sound spontaneous even if they were. First up Debbie wanted to know what animal she would be getting from each of three “cracking lads”. Ibiza-loving lad tattooed JJ said he was a big old teddy bear and was “hoping you’re not a dog.” Number three Richard, went for “penguin” - because they always look good in a suit. Debbie must like penguins as she went for Richard and they headed off for a game of "junkyard golf." Sounds suitably cheap and tacky, though I'm still trying to work out if that's a new type of kinky sexual activity.
O’Grady, of course was a great host. I’ve always envied his gift of the gab which actually does sound off-the-cuff – “you’ll be back in borstal before you can say Judge Judy”. "Don't dump the whole roast on the platter." He did an effective job chatting to the contestants and putting them all at their ease, while also making the audience laugh.
In the second half it was a guy choosing one of "these three knockouts." – Lesley from London who was sick of players, Kara also from London via Belfast who tends to hang out in gay bars and online DJ Charlotte from South London (was the travel budget even tighter than the date budget?) who was writing a Harry Potter-type book.
But who would the picker choose? Fitness salesman Damian from Rugby. "My God it's massive," said O'Grady – "I'm talking about a beard here.". Damian asked them what their favourite position was, but this was 7pm so calm down. Debbie recommended a "shoefie" - a selfie of her shoes. He asked them what they would give up to make their life great. "If you pick me I will give up sleep to create some magic with you," flirted Charlotte. But it didn't work, he went for Kara and they headed off for a ping pong game (really pushing the boat out here). "Nothing to do with Thailand," added O'Grady.
Will I watch again? If I happen to be passing. But I don't think I'd make a date to watch it.
Blind Date, 5, Saturdays, 7pm.
