There has been talk recently about forming a comedians' union. Small clubs have been closing, others are cutting their pay rates and others have been slow to pay up, making it harder and harder for the grafting comedian to earn decent wage. There must be something attractive about stand-up though, because enough people still insist having a bash at it.
If there was a union, the argument goes, clubs would have to abide by certain rules and pay certain rates. Basically everything would be more regulated. But it would be very complicated to make it work across the industry. What about open spots and open mic nights? Rates would have to vary and maybe some allowance would have to be made somewhere for inexperienced acts working for free. and who would ensure that nobody is undercutting and stealing work. Who would police this bastard art?
Maybe acts should have to get some kind of card stamped every time they do a gig and they are only allowed to do, say, 25 free spots maximum. If they can't get a paid gig by then maybe stand-up isn't for them. That feels rather draconian though. But what about free clubs such as Angel Comedy? Should a set fee be paid from the bucket and what if there isn't enough in the bucket? Should free clubs be closed down? What about the various forms of the hydra-headed Free Fringe? The problems are endless and that's before one has even worked out the logo, how much membership fees should be and who would collect them.
Comedian Jojo Smith has said that Equity has helped her out in the past, but I wonder how many comedians are in the actors' union. Times have changed here. Back in the early days stand-up was actually seen as a way of obtaining an Equity card so lots joined. Stand-up was never a closed shop so doing live performance was a way of joining the union that you could only get into if you had stage time - it was a lot easier than forming your own theatre company. I'm not sure if all comedians could be in Equity now even if they could afford the subs (I've put in a call on this and am waiting for a reply).
Of course, old heads will nod sagely and point out that the comedians' union has been tried before. I think some comedians attempted to set up a stand-up union around two decades ago. Great in theory, but I don't think it lasted very long. There were probably too many differences back then, there might be even more now, given that live comedy is so much bigger.
The trouble is that comedians are the ultimate individualists and unions are all about group solidarity. A lot of stand-ups probably get into the business because they can't function in a normal group - if they could they might be able to hold down a regular office job. It is a paradoxical career - fiercely competitive but also extremely supportive - could that supportive attitude survive union regulations?
It was one of the ironies of the early alt-com wave that the comedians ranting about Thatcher were the ultimate accidental Thatcherites, setting up their own small businesses and metaphorically getting on their bikes and looking for work. Comedians' Union? Bit of an oxymoron. It reminds me of what Gandhi was said to have replied when he was asked what he thought of Western Civilisation: "Sounds like a good idea".
Something needs to be done to help working comedians though. It feels like there is a massive split in stand-up at the moment, between the rich comedians at the top who are coining it like never before and the acts at the bottom who are barely getting by. Maybe Jimmy Carr could do a benefit for starving comedians. Or just set up a direct debit. Seriously, maybe some of the big acts could come up with some kind of bursary or support system. Who knows, it might even be tax deductible. Perhaps something could be done that could be named after Addison Cresswell. After all, he helped to create some of the biggest, richest stars today. It would be a fitting memorial and legacy if his name could be attached to some of the stars of tomorrow.
