Julian Clary is touring in 2019 with his new show Born To Mince. He talks about life on the road and life in general below. Tickets are on sale now. See dates and buy tickets here.

If I was expecting Julian Clary to turn up to our interview in a fanfare of sequins, make-up and high camp, I’d have been sorely disappointed.

When we meet at a high-end, luvvie-friendly hotel in London’s West End, Julian slips into the room unnoticed, apologises for being a couple of minutes late, and slides into a seat before ordering a pot of tea and a plate of ‘good quality’ biscuits. 

I’ve read interviews describing Julian as ‘shy’ but after meeting him I’m not sure that’s entirely accurate. He’s softly spoken and unassuming, yes, and he insists that it’s just me and him in the interview as an audience makes him feel ‘self-conscious’.

But he also holds eye contact and is confident and forthright on his opinions. He’s also, as you’d expect, very funny. And no question is out of bounds…

Let’s talk about your tour first. It’s called Born To Mince, isn’t it?

Yes. The last one was The Joy of Mincing. Before that was Natural Born Mincer, Lord of the Mince, Mincing Machine. You get the general idea. I just like to get ‘mincing’ in the title. I like the word. Mincing, mince, in any formula. 

It’s only three years since your last tour. Why did you want to do another so soon?

Because I miss it, and what I have to do with my life is rotate various activities. So children’s books are lovely, and I really enjoy making children laugh, but a part of me wants to talk filth and I’m not one for depriving myself of that pleasure.

And how do you feel about the writing process?

Well it’s written now sort of -  but it’s all in gestation because I’ve got another few months to go, so now I’m discarding what I’ve already written and changing it. 

I like the process. It gathers pace. The quality of the writing gets better as I get closer to it, through fear probably. The best stuff will probably rise to the surface when I’m in the car on my way to the first gig.

I wake up in the night. The brain is a funny thing, you know - a random, completely formed 20-minute section just comes to me just before dawn. Why is that?

For example, I’ve been reading a lot about gay aversion therapy recently, so I had this idea that we could try heterosexual aversion therapy and get some men out in the audience, wire up their genitals, and show them pictures of Coleen Nolan.

If there’s any twinge of arousal they’ll get 40 volts through the testicles.

Is that legal?

Well, it sounds entertaining.

I’m glad you think so. It’s what passes for entertainment these days.

So you wake up in the middle of the night and have to scribble this stuff down?

I do, much to my husband’s annoyance. In fact he doubles as my secretary so I dictate and he has to wake up and write it all down. He’s also my gardener, house keeper and nurse. I enjoy an enema before breakfast most days.

And how do you enjoy actually seeing fans in the front row - is that part of the pleasure for you?

It rather depends on what they’re wearing. It’s a Spring tour so I’m hoping for some cheerful floral print dresses with maybe a light pashmina. That’s just the men. And did you know one in five of the general public are mad? I have to be careful who I hold eye contact with. Among celebrities the percentage is higher, of course…more like one in three. Have you ever interviewed Richard Osman? Barking!

Let’s talk about the outrage. Obviously you get a kick out of getting people to gasp, do you?

It’s one of life’s pleasures, in my opinion. It’s one of the reasons people come to see me: they desperately want to hear graphic descriptions of homosexual sex acts. They want to see if I’ll go too far. It livens up their otherwise dreary lives I expect. It gets the heart rate going, much like fairground rides or watching a horror movie. 

Was this more true when you started out in the 80s?

Yes… because prejudice, ignorance and fear were rife back then. I felt if you talked about the mechanics of gay sex, for example, it would be shocking to them but it would demystify it. They would leave better people than when they arrived.

Do you feel like you have achieved that now?

Well it’s not just me, it’s just, you know, we’ve all grown up. The world’s a better place these days.

You said people are less easily shocked, which I think is true, but they are also more easily offended these days.

I know!

Does this give you a different challenge?

It’s funny… What were we talking about last night? I wanted to put something on Twitter. It was about the Duchess of wherever she is, the Duchess of Sussex, being pregnant. My husband said, “Yes, but who is the father?” And I thought, probably years ago I could’ve put that Twitter and we’d have all chortled. Now, I thought, “Well, I just can’t because it’s going to cause outrage.”

There’s this new word, ‘snowflake’, isn’t there? I would blame social media I think, where there’s people who spend all day arguing. Be very careful what you say. 

And why do you think you now care if it does cause offence? You used to court controversy.

It’s different. It’s a different sort of controversy. If it was really controversial that I was an ‘out’ gay man on television, then that’s something that I would feel more self-righteous about. Implying that the Duchess of Sussex is putting it about is probably not true at this stage of their marriage!

So I can’t really feel self-righteous about that.

Could you pass me the biscuits, please...

Interview continues here including JC's views on Chatham...

Interview supplied by Julian Clary's publicists.