Comedian Richard Herring feared that he might not live long enough for his children to know him after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. 

Herring was talking to DJ Chris Moyles on his Radio X show to promote his tour and book. More details here. 

Here is a transcript of their chat*:

Chris Moyles: “Is there a chance I might cry in your new show?”  

Richard Herring: “There are a couple of moments, I think, yeah. It’s mainly me finding the funny in it, but there is the moment I got the phone call from my doctor. He had been very jovial when I’d been in, and said, ‘oh don’t worry, ah you know, this isn’t cancer. Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’m going to send you in anyway just in case.’ And then he called up and was a bit like, ‘oh, urm,’ you know? ‘We don’t know what it is…’ his voice was shaking. My son was two at the time, my daughter was five. I’d just been playing with the family and my son was just laughing in the next room, so there was this real moment of ‘oh my God...’

So that bit is quite emotional. But it was also, again, I think it was about 90 seconds. I really cried thinking about my kids and then myself, and not being here anymore. But you know, there was so much kind of clarity within that 90 minutes; I do a bit about it. And I realise just how many different things went through my head. You know in a comedy film when they have the five stages of grief? They go through them, and the other person goes… Gets angry, then happy, accepts it. But it was really like that, kind of. Sort of bargaining. Going, ‘well, maybe it’s best if I die straight away so they don’t know who I am?’” 

CM: “Oh Richard.”

RH: “Then I was thinking, ‘no, I’ve got to work out how I can earn enough money to look after my family, what passwords to pass onto my wife, and which ones she must never find.”

CM: “Hahaha!”

RH: “And you know, you’re thinking about how she’s going to bring up two kids on her own to begin with. Of course, she’s very attractive, she’ll find someone. I was thinking about the guy drinking – her next husband – drinking all of my whiskey.” 

CM: “Oh no!” 

RH: “And I stopped drinking. No, so I still worry about it. I’d just stopped drinking when I found out I got cancer, so never stop drinking is my… That’s what I…”

CM: “And you’ve stayed off it?”

RH: “I haven’t had a drink for three years.”

Tune into The Chris Moyles Show on Radio X weekdays from 6:30am – 10am and on Global Player

*spoiler alert - Herring is now cancer-free